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Beautiful. Powerful. Deep. Heart-wrenching. Believable. Uplifting. Unforgettable. A must-read!!

Wow. 5+ stars.

One of my favorite reads of the year!!!!!!

The Sea of Tranquility is a beautifully written, deep, heart-wrenching drama about two damaged teens surviving unchangeable tragedies, and devastating grief, hurt, and pain, learning to cope with them, accept them, and somehow finding healing, safety and finally happiness and love in each other along the way.

Its quiet and very, very slow building but it just felt SO real and believable. Without my even realizing it, this quiet book had me worked up to the point where my heart was pounding and felt like it was being being ripped out. The emotional punch took a while to build, but when it hit, it was huge and powerful and took my breath away.

This is not your typical romance where boy meets girl and they live happily ever after. I’d call it more of a character-driven drama with a bit of a YA romance in it. It highlights the realities, horrors and imperfections of life (and, yes, love) while still having a powerfully uplifting ending,

“My name is Nastya Kashnikov.
I was a piano-playing prodigy…
I was murdered two and a half years ago.
Discuss.”

Nastya is a beautiful, bright seventeen year old girl struggling with having her dreams and life as she knew it shattered two years ago by a random act of violence. At her new school, she meets Josh, a guy who just wants to build things and be left alone, who everyone avoids and yet no one messes with. Surrounded by worlds of pain, death and self-imposed isolation, both of them have survived hurts no one their age should ever have been through and are both struggling with having survived and living with that pain every day.

One night, out on a run, Nastya ends up at Josh’s house. He’s there, in his garage that’s filled with tools and wood and he’s making something. For the first time in a long time, Nastya feels a connection of sorts with him and just sits down, quietly and watches him work. She keeps coming back every day and so begins their strange, yet beautiful relationship.

“When you look at her what do you feel? … Joy, fear, frustration, longing, friendship, anger, need, despair, love, lust.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“All of it.”

Its not romantic for a long time, but rather what built between them is a sort of companionship or friendship based on mutual understanding, empathy, and trust as they slowly open up and confide their secrets in each other.

“I know at that moment what he’s given me…the knowledge that I am accepted here… He’s given me a place to belong.“

The thing I loved about Nastya was that she was fragile in some ways, but absolutely tough as nails in others. She wasn’t helpless or frail, despite a part of her soul being broken. She was strong, intelligent, witty, perceptive and although she made choices that people around her didn’t understand, they were her choices to make. She was sad and angry, dealing with a tragic act of random cruelty that took away her dreams. So she copes with it in the best way she knows how, by doing what feels right to her, not what anyone else wanted her to do. I loved that about her.

“Eventually, my body healed as much as it was going to. My mind started getting put back together, too. I think it’s just that the pieces got put back a little out of order. It seems like the more my body healed, the more fractured my mind became, and there aren’t enough wires and screws to fix the breaks in it.“

“With any other girl I could probably pull the classic guy fail-safe of walking over and wrapping my arms around her and letting her put her head on my shoulder. It’s cheap, but it works. Drew swear by it. But I’m afraid that in this particular instance it would result in one of two things: a string of innovative new expletives or her knee in my balls. My money’s on the knee.“

Josh was a beautiful character. Quiet, a bit of a loner, but deeply understanding, caring and protective. What I loved most about him was how strongly he respected her boundaries – giving her a safe zone to her be herself. The real her. The one she feels she has to hide from the world. Giving her the space and security of being able to share exactly as much or as little of herself as she wanted. No judgments. No questions. No obligations. He knew that she areas of her that were locked up in her hurt and he never pushed her outside her comfort zone, no matter how badly he wanted to know what happened to her.

“He needs to be able to fix things and make it all better; to believe that you’re okay so that he can believe he’s okay.”

The book starts out quiet and somber. It is slow building in every possibly way. Nothing is rushed. And although I loved it, a part of me just wished something would happen because of how slowly the story built and the romance-story lover in me wanted them to become a couple sooner (their first date is at about 65%) but having finished it and looking back on the pacing of the story, I can understand why it was the way it was. In the end, the slowness contributed to how powerfully the ending hit. And the ending was really, really beautiful.

And by really, really beautiful, I mean that I read the last two words over and over again with tears in my eyes and my hand over my mouth. I literally just sat there crying, rereading the page, letting the powerful emotional punch hit me every time. (And don’t go flipping to the back of the book to see what those words are! Seriously, you’ll ruin the whole book if you do and there’s no getting it back…)

The author is an amazingly gifted, brilliant storyteller. The book is worth reading for the writing alone. Her style is beautiful, evocative, poetic, and deeply meaningful. I’m very much looking forward to more of her work.

Absolutely everyone should read this book at some point in their lives. It was GORGEOUS and unforgettable. One of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. Trust me, its totally worth it!

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4 stars

A YA story about surviving child abuse, about learning that everyone is worthy of love, and about the strength of forgiveness.

Henry grew up in school with Kate. He fell in love with her on the first day of kindergarten when she befriended him, and with a big smile, made him feel welcome and since then they became best friends. Until, one summer, his family moved away.

Six years later, its the senior year of high school. With an alcoholic father who is too drunk to notice that her prescrition-drug-addicted mother regularly beats and abuses her at home, and her thrift store clothes making her the target of severe and relentless bullying at school, Kate is a the subject of horrific treatment everywhere she turns. Consequently, she has withdrawn into herself, a survival mechanisn against a world where no where is safe.

When she walks into school on the first day back and sees Henry standing there, she is shocked and mortified that he’ll see what she’s becomes. Henry, however, is the same kind, caring, tender and gentle yet protective guy he always was. He’s surprised at the change in her, and does his best to earn her trust. And throughout the book we see her journey as Henry helps her heal, learn to stand up for herself, and begin to truly believe she is worthy of love.

I loved Henry’s character – what an absolute sweetheart! He was the first person to show her kindness after so many years of being shunned, abused and bullied, the first person to stand up for her, to protect her, to care for her feelings, and to love her. He was utterly devoted to her from start to finish and watching him gently lead her out of her shell by wrapping her in his love and love from his family was really beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sincerity in ever line of his body and ringing in his voice. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I’m sorry for everything you are going through now. But I promise you one thing.” He leans back, taking my face between his hands and gazing intently into my eyes. “You will never be alone again.”

The physical abuse the Kate suffers at home is horrific and chilling. Pure, downright cruelty. And almost worse than that is seeing how she internalizes the pain and feels unworthy – if her own mother can’t love her, how can she be deserving of any love at all? It was just heart breaking to see such a sweet, shy, kind person be treated so brutally.

Throughout the book, we get to see the back story behind the abuse – why was Kate’s mom so bitter? What made her dad so detached?  And we got to see the new beginnings brought about from acceptance and forgiveness.

I liked the book, but I didn’t love it despite having no specific complaints about it. It was pretty short, I read it in less than a day. The whole feeling of the book was very quiet… I know that’s a bit of a weird way to describe a book, but that’s how it felt to me. The story progressed at an unrushed pace, never making you feel like you missed any part of the story…..but I don’t know, I guess despite liking the story, I just felt a little detached from it. It did almost make me misty eyed once or twice, but it didn’t rip out my heart or make me cry ever despite the subject matter being pretty sickening at times. Still, it is a good read, and definitely worth adding to the TBR list.

The whole story is told from Kate’s POV, except for the prologue and epilogue which is told from Henry’s POV. And yes, the story does have a happy ending

It was definitely YA… very light and non-steamy (just kisses), but very sweet.

And someone asked me about this so I’ll mention that there is no sexual abuse in this story.

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4 stars

“Jude wasn’t just my first love. He was my forever love.“

Woohoo! Our lovable uber-protective badboy, Jude, is back!

I really liked this book, I had some issues with it, but overall, I was very happy with it. This book had great dialogue, swoony moment, heart breaking moments, a totally badass chick fight, a heart sick badboy, some big issues to work though and of course a happy ending

This book starts up after the ending of Crash (book #1) with Jude and Lucy attending college. Jude being the superstar football player has been assigned a “Spirit Sister” Adriane (aka sheb*tchfromhell) who wants nothing more than to steal Jude away for her very own at any and all costs. Eeeeepp!! This consequently (and understandably) made Lucy feel more and more insecure around her relationship with Jude (considering his man-whoring past) and leads to a lot drama around them learning to trust each other.

“You’re all I’ve got, Luce. I’ll do anything not to lose you.“

I have to say I HATED Adriane from the moment her name hit the page. I really haven’t hated a character this much in a long while. And I gotta admit, I totally sympathized with Lucy’s insecurities at first – the thought of another girl determined to get Jude just made my blood boil… and its not like Lucy knew she was a character in a book and destined for a HEA lol.  In her eyes, she didn’t know what to think and was just working with the facts in front of her… I’m pretty sure it would make me worried too in her shoes.

I was really torn with who to side with… I think in the end, they were both equally to blame for the issues, and both equally to commend for fixing things. Overall I actually sympethized with them both. For the first while I sided with Lucy… Despite being utterly devoted to her, Jude did do several things that I don’t think he should have with whole Adriane thing which made me totally get why she was being insecure. Then for a while, I sided with Jude because I felt Lucy went over-the-top with her reactions to the conclusions she drew. But at the same time, she had pretty good reason to come to those conclusions…and poor Jude is there and he’s just so messed up and yet trying so freaking hard to do the right thing but at the same time, and yet some of his actions were just really hypocritical….. hmmm I could go on and on… basically: Holy Emotional Rollercoaster!!

“Life isn’t perfect, we sure as shit arent perfect, so why should we expect love to be?“

The book was a fair bit shorter than Crash though so none of the frustrations were too long and drawn out – making them quite bearable. And it helped that by the end, all the issues that came up in the book were completely resolved.

And I absolutely loved the ending!! It was really sweet and the author tied it right in beautifully with the beginning of Crash making the story kind of come full circle. I thought that was pretty perfect

This book is basically YA but with sex (very subtle descriptions).

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3.5 stars

“When I said I loved you, I didn’t mean for a week, or maybe a year, I meant always, in the good times and the bad, through thick and thin. I’m playing for keeps here, Mags.“

Overall, I thought the story was good, and its under contract to be made into a movie now which I think is fabulous, but I wasn’t totally blown away by the book itself.

Seth is an undercover cops posing as a student at Port Fare High School in an effort to bring down a ring of heroine drug dealers that have been on the rise in the last few months and have been recently reaching out to dealing to kids with devastatingly results. Maggie is a student and visually, with her near-skeletal frame and dark circles under her eyes, could be the poster child for Heroin Chic. No one realizes that she comes from a dirt-poor home and barely has enough money to keep food on the table because her alcoholic, verbally abusive mother drinks away any money that they have. And yet despite this miserable home environment, Maggie maintains stellar performance at school, and is a wonderfully sweet girl that everyone likes.

When Maggie’s name comes up as one of the people who could potentially lead them to the drug lord (based on her outward appearance), Seth is assigned to “get close” to her. But his personal feelings are getting in the way. Aside from his job, he already has feelings for her and he struggles with the balance of doing his job and going for what his heart wants.

Maggie feels unlovable. Her mother constantly berates, abuses and rejects her, so wrapped up in her alcoholic world that she has no time, patience, or love left to give her child.

“Get out of my house! I regret ever giving birth to you, you unlovable nothing!” She picked up a glass from off the coffee table… I turned and left as it hit my shoulder.”

But still, Maggie cares deeply for her mother, wanting desperately to feel worthy of her love, and having seen, first hand, the destruction caused by alcohol, Maggie want nothing to do with it (or drugs).

With her lack of self-worth, Maggie can’t fathom what Seth sees in her. How could someone unloved by their own mother be worthy of any love at all? And so it takes her loooong time to come around to actually believing that Seth is truly interested in her. Their relationship is slow building as Maggie slowly learns to trust him.

“It felt nice to be in his arms, as if someone actually cared about me. He listened, never judging, nor criticizing, just listening as I told him what had happened with my mom.”

But Seth understands how wary and un-trusting she is and is willing to be patient with her.  He goes far out of his way to make her feel safe with him, to protect her, to find subtle ways of caring for her when there are basic things that she can’t even afford, and to find a way to convince her of the depth of his feelings for her.

“Please don’t hurt me. When you’re tired of me, just let me know. I promise not to be a clinging vine”…
I was sick and tired of being alone. I was also very much in love with him. It frightened me beyond words.
“Maggie,” he said, stroking my hair. I’m not going to get tired of you, and I certainly don’t plan on hurting you, not on purpose, anyway. But I don’t just want to be here,” He kisses me softly on the lips. “I want to be in here too.” He brushed by head with his lips. “And in your heart. I’ve never loved anyone like this before.”

And while they are figuring out their feelings for each other, the drug dealers are stepping up their game, murdering people, students, hurting them, desperate to make a name for themselves and to get back at the cops for bringing down one of their brothers in a prior assignment.

The story is told from alternating POVs (including the drug dealers) so we get to understand all sides of what is going on.

But I did have a few issues with the story. I thought the plot was a little unbelievable at times (like for example how quickly they went from cautious flirting to absolute head-over-heels love literally overnight with very little build-up to that level of intensity), I found the dialogue a little stilted at times and it didn’t always flow very well (for example, from the guy’s POV, him saying “My face warped into a tortured expression…” hmmmmm, just doesn’t sound like something a guy would say. Or, her doctor asking her “How long were you unconscious?” … *squints skeptically* REALLY?????? O_o ), and there were definite moments of stupid decision making and childish reactions on the heroine’s part – just a lot of things that made me sigh to myself or roll my eyes.

I also wasn’t fully satisfied with the ending – yes, its a happy ending, and, yes, they end up “together” as a couple, and I guess we’ll see more of their relationship development in the sequel (although, it isn’t directly focused on them) but I didn’t like the decision they made at the end – it just didn’t make sense to me.

The steam factor was very, very low – definitely a tame YA read. The hero doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, and for a goodly chunk of the book, she’s 17 and he is 21 (and a cop) so they pretty much only kiss throughout the whole book.

It was still a good book, I just felt a little ‘meh’ about some aspects of it. It did keep me interested from start to finish though, but it didn’t make me laugh, didn’t make me cry and didn’t make my heart race. But it is under contract to be a movie and I can definitely see how it would make a much better movie than it did a book. Its one of those kinds of stories that you can totally visualize as a movie in your head with very few changes made to it.

The sequel, Unbelievable, will be released in December 2012 and follow the story of another of the main characters from this book.

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3.5 stars

“It’s always been you; it’ll always be you, Angel.“

My goodness I felt torn about how to rate this book. There were literally times where I was grinning, and awww-ing and proclaiming my whole-hearted love for the book… but then, there were times where I’d cringe, roll my eyes or want to throttle the characters. I kept going back and forth between 2.5 and 4.5 stars. It was a tough call because the good parts were reeeeally heart-meltingly good but the inconsistencies and some parts of the writing kind of brought it down for me.

This book has a fair bit of flaws (moments of stilted dialogue, a LOT of out-of-character, unrealistic and nonsensical actions from the heroine, some not-so-great writing, and plain flat-out stupidity), but the thing is, if you can (and I mostly did) overlook those flaws, and remember that this is purely a work of fiction, its actually a very adorable, at times hot, and definitely aww-worthy romance about a girl who came for an abusive home and a boy who has loved her since she was a little kid, has been her protector ever since then, and is willing to do just about anything to make her happy, comfortable, feel safe, and loved.. Its all very swoony and sweet underneath the flaws.

8-year-old Amber lives with her mother and older brother Jake in constant fear of the verbal, physical, emotional (and in Amber’s case, sexual) abuse inflicted on them by their father. No kid should ever have to lock their bedroom door at night just to feel safe. But every night, once her door is locked and no one can hurt her anymore, her brother’s best friend Liam (10 years old), sneaks into her bedroom window and just holds her as she cries, comforts her when she feels unsafe, and by secretly staying with her through every night, helps her to push back the pain. So, so sweet of him! *sniff*

“…he was wearing his pajamas … “I saw you through the window. I just wanted to come and make sure you were alright, he whispered… I’m not leaving until you stop crying,”…He had his arms wrapped around me so tightly that I couldn’t even squirm away. I felt safe and warm. I scooted closer to him… and sobbed into his chest. “

Cut to 8 years later, Liam is still sneaking in through her window and staying the night with her (awwwww, right??) and he has almost every night since they were kids. His presence is the only thing that keeps her nightmares away. Jake, the older brother and Liam’s best friend, is seriously protective of her too. His willingness to do absolutely everything to protect his sister and to keep her physically and emotionally away from anything that could hurt her was really gorgeous.

But Amber can’t figure Liam out. He’s an annoying and lovable jerk by day, and the sweetest guy ever by night. He’s also your typical man-whore – plenty of girls, no girlfriends, no meaningful connections. He has always really only had eyes for Amber.

“Night Liam was considerate, loving and thoughtful. Day Liam was a flirt, slut and a jerk. However, both night and day Liams made me feel safe and protected.”

I was a little frustrated with how long it took Amber to clue into Liam’s feelings for her, but at the same time, it was really sweet to watch her come into the realization that the guy who’d been sharing her bed since they were kids is also crazy about her.

I have to say that I LOVED Liam!! Seriously, he made the book for me. He was utterly, perfectly sweet, swoony, hot and thoughtful. The guy literally had no flaws other than his man-whoring past (which he completely stopped once they got together). He has always seen himself as her protector and is always watching out for her. Whats more, he knows what she’s been though and although he’s completely in love with her and wants more, he never ever pushed her outside of her comfort zone and just settled for being protective and caring for her, willing to just be whatever she needed from him.

Once Amber started to realize that she has feelings for him, the adorable hotness begins as they start going out… Its really hard not to love a guy who is always telling his girl how beautiful he thinks she is, who will check the bathrooms and closets for undead after a scary zombie movie, and who can’t fall asleep without being wrapped around his girl. I went though many “awwww, he’s just so freaking sweet” moments that made my heart squeeze

And I loved how Liam was the only person who could help her through her pain, who understood her deep down, who knew what she needed, who made her feel safe – it was really cute. He totally let her set the pace of the relationship, was endlessly patient, never pushing her or rushing her, but yet always letting her know he was there for her and ready to go wherever she was comfortable  going. And once they started going, he pulled out all the swoony stops.

“Liam, what do you want from me?” I asked quietly…
He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face so I had to look up at him. “Everything,” he said simply. 

But I also felt it was all a little too ‘romance book perfect’. The story basically had a lot of the elements that make romance books swoony, but I felt like (at times) they were a bit crudely put together – not all the pieces fit and sometimes it just made the whole thing feel off-kilter at times. Also, there were times when the characters felt much older than they were. But if you could overlook that and a few other things, the book was really cute.

This book touches on themes of abuse and teen pregnancy, and is set again a high school background, however the focus of the story is the romance. There is a really adorable epilogue and there’s no cheating or separation in the book. Once Amber and Liam get together, they are both completely crazy about each other with no deviations. “My girl.” He kissed me again. “The only one I want.” However, despite a lot of steamy buildup, teasing, flirting, making out etc, the actual bedroom scenes are fade-to-black. Its YA, but its hot YA

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4 stars

“Whoever said that love hurts was wrong. Love is excruciating, especially when you can feel it slipping through your fingers and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Why did the story have to end there?????? WHY??!?! OK, so this is all actually totally my fault. I knew what the ending was and that it was a horrible cliffhanger before I started reading this but it still punched me in the gut!! Dear. lord. *sniffle*

Frustrated by her shallow, controlling and uncaring filthy-rich parents, Emily just wants to be out on her own. Her older brother died a few years ago (drug overdose) and so she leaves her family (refusing to take their money) to strike out on her own, living near the cemetery where he is buried. She keeps running into this guy near the cemetery who tried warning her to stay away, to move away, but of course she doesn’t listen and at the same time is very intrigued by him.

“There was no doubt in my mind that this boy was odd and beautiful – a dangerous combination. Something about his guardedness, something about the way others in the projects had looked at his with fear, made me think I should probably run the other way next time and concentrate on not thinking about him.”

One day, while out on a run, she gets caught in the rain and, while taking shelter in the cemetery witnesses a brutal murder committed by the guy she kept running into and passes out. When she wakes up, she is thrown into a world she never expected to know – filled with drug lords, gangs, hideouts, territory wars, and secrets about her brother and the life he was really involved in…  She is held captive in a house in the country but finds herself falling in love with Cameron, the guy from the cemetery who had been watching her, who committed the brutal crime, who kidnapped her and is apparently just trying to keep her safe and also falling in love with her. But in that world, happily-ever-afters don’t come too easily.

“How long are you going to keep me here?” I drowsily continued.
Cameron pulled the glass out of my numbed hands and set it on the table next to me. “For as long as it takes.”
“And what are you going to do with me?” This came out as a whisper. My eyes were barely slit open.
Cameron paused on this question. He scanned my face, like the answer was written somewhere between the freckles.
“I don’t know”

First off, I should say that I went into this book expecting it to be quite dark, but it really wasn’t. I was pretty surprised by that. I mean, the subject matter is serious, but even though she is held captive, its in a fully furnished house, she is allowed a lot of freedom to go around the grounds as she pleases, talk to anyone, swim in the pool with everyone, make dinner etc… its not like its a dark and twisty kidnapping (not that I’m justifying it or anything, it just wasn’t quite what I thought it would be) and the “bad guys” aren’t evil or mean or cruel.. they are just involved in some shady business.

This book really blurs the line between right and wrong… What if a good person did something technically wrong but for the right reasons and in a situation where it was, in many ways, the only solution. Does that make them a bad person? Can you still fall in love with them? Can a relationship in a world where that life is necessary work?

From the start of the book, Cameron was a total mystery. He seemed to be always fighting against himself. On the outside, he seemed cold and harsh, but pieces of his softer, caring personality kept peeking through revealing his true nature and drawing the line between the person he wanted to be and the person his position made him have to be.

I’ll admit it, I got Stockholm Syndrome. I totally fell in love with him… and despite their less-than-ideal circomstances, I could really see a solution where things worked out for them and then the ending!!!!! aaarrrgh!! WHY?? *grumbles about noble idiots*

“Everything was different between Cameron and me. What I felt wasn’t just mind games or some fabricated syndrome. What I felt for him, I had seen him, felt him feel for me too. I was sure of this.”

Emily and Cameron very much have a forbidden love. In his world, loved ones are liabilities and almost always get hurt or killed. And the more she learns about him, the more she begins to understand his world and why he is involved in it.

“You’ll probably die if you stay with me,” he told me.
“Then I’m dead either way, because I won’t survive without you.” 

There were, however, several discrepancies in the book that make me squint at it skeptically but overall the story was good and so I was able to make myself accept them as part of the world. But don’t read too deeply into the details. If you think about them too hard, a lot of the stuff that happens (especially in the first 60%) can be a little unbelievable or questionable. I had a lot of moments where I kind of just shook my head, put away my thoughts on the matter and just accepted what I read in order to not take myself away from the story line… Unfortunately though, I can’t really talk about them without giving spoilers. And I kind of wavered back and forth on how much they bothered me… but then, I had to put the book down while I went to work and found myself thinking about it all day and realized that despite all that, I was really sucked into the story and the fact that it made me care about the characters like that was definitely a good sign. But I’d say that that was the primary reason for not rating the book higher. Well, that and also I would have wanted more steam. The love scenes were very tame, even for a YA book. 100% fade-to-black. The most we saw was a kiss…. I wanted more!!

The story was actually relatively light until about 65% and then there were a series of twists I didn’t see coming…. and the ending had me in serious emotional knots! (although, I didn’t get misty eyes or cry throughout the whole book)

That being said, its not an anti-HEA ending… it definitely leaves room for things to work out in a swoony HEA in the sequel, but for now… ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!!

I checked on Julie Hockley’s website and she has confirmed that she is in the middle of writing the sequel… she’s only a few chapters in but thankfully, its in the works! I’m definitely looking forward to more of Cameron and Emily’s story!!

I’d definitely recommend it for fans of Sempre.. the two books had a very similar feeling to them (but Sempre had more steam)

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