**Little note to those of you who are visiting this site for the first time: I feel like I should mention that this is so NOT my typical read. In fact its almost the antithesis of the kind of book I like and it took me many months to work up the emotional courage to read it… I pretty much ONLY read HEA (happily-ever-after) books and usually VERY swoony ones at that. Thats my rule. I need them in my life…. But for whatever reason, the synopisis of this book and other people’s reviews kind of grabbed at my heart and I’ve had this book in the back of my mind for a while now and finally worked up the courage to try it. So it’ll be the only one of its kind you’ll find on this blog…. the rest are all HEA romances.
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5 stars *sob sob sob*
“How could something so wrong feel so right?”
This book reduced me to a inconsolable, uncontrollably sobbing, shaking, and wailing WRECK!! My heart is utterly SHATTERED !!!!!! Why? Why?? WHY????
I have no idea how to write anything that describes the depths to which my heart ACHES! Its like a physical pain. The ending of this book was “heart-shattering”. Pure, gut-wrenching, PAIN.
It takes the concept of a “forbidden love” to a whole new level. It does not have a HEA and the ending is guaranteed rip your heart to shreds.
The story is raw, emotional to an extreme, powerful, achingly painful, beautiful and devastatingly tragic.
I was beyond apprehensive about this story because, yes, this is a love story between a brother and sister (*cringe/gulp*, right?). It is only for the most open minded and non-judgmental readers. But I absolutely PROMISE you, after reading their story, you will be wishing they could have a happy ending.
With a self-centered, uncaring, and alcohlic mother and a father who abandoned their family years ago, siblings Lochan (17) and Maya (16) have always felt more like friends than siblings – being the defacto parents to their 3 younger siblings – 13-year-old Kit who is unhappy, self-destructive, and rebelling against life, mischevious little brother Tiffin, and sweet adorable baby sister Willa who is too young to understand the desperation all around her. Lochan and Maya work themselves into the ground trying desperately to hold together the broken pieces of their family for fear that social services will separate them if they learn of the absentee parents. The stress of their lives brings them closer and closer together to the point where they fall in love. They know its not right, they know its impossible, but they cannot deny that the feeling they have are so strong and feel so right.
The romance is slow building and comes as almost (dare I say it) a very subtle, natural, beautiful progression. Its about two people drawn together by their circumstances, who are as close as two people can be, who rely on each other, support each other, have been through hell together… The pain, lonliness, and desolation of their life pushes them together. Everything in their life is so overwhelming, but with each other they feel safe.
“… how to get across to the outside world that Lochan and I are siblings only through biological mishap? That we were never brother and sister in the real sense, but always partners, having to being up a real family as we grew up ourselves? How to explain that Lochan has never felt like a brother but like something far, far closer than that – a soul mate, a best friend, part of the very fiber of my being?”
The book is told in alternating POVs between Lochan and Maya. Their thoughts and perspectives made me question everything I was naturally feeling and forced me to think with my heart instead of with how I was naturally inclined to automatically feel about a sibling romance. It filled me with so many conflicting emotions. My natural reaction was to cringe at the storyline and scream ‘NO!”, but when you read and understand the emotion behind it, you can’t help but want to root for them as a couple.
The writing style is absolutely stunning. It conveys the stifling desolation and desperation of their life so vividly, you can feel with all your heart. It clouds the book, clings to the story and by extension, you as the reader are utterly wrapped up in their world.
This is a story that is going to stay with me for a long time. It’ll make you question right and wrong and think twice about preconceived prejudices.
In so many ways, their relationship didn’t feel weird or wrong. All the realtionship lines in this story were blurred anyways – friend and sibling, parents and child, authority figure and equal… When the situation isn’t a normal one, where are the lines drawn? As a reader, your natural, biological instincts are screaming at you to think of it as cringe-worthy, sick and both Lochan and Maya were realists about their feelings for each other. They knew how taboo it was and struggled long and hard with coming to terms with being able to accept the things they were feeling. Their torn anguish at dealing with what they were feeling but at the same time being true to themselves and not being able to deny the strength and reality of their feelings and passion for each other was heart-wrenching.
“I scrape the fingernails of one hand against the wall, violent sobs running in shock waves through my body, tears soaking my sleeve. “Help,” I find myself gasping, “I don’t understand what’s wrong with me!”
And like I said, they were realists about their situation. They knew they could never have kids and that wasn’t a problem – they just wanted to be together. And in another world, one where they were just Lochan and Maya and not also raising three younger siblings, they could very well have made it work. But the responsibilities of their family kept them from being able to put themselves first and ultimately was what led to the tragic ending.
With all your heart, you feel their desperation as they fight to hide something the whole world will judge them for.
“But its the whole world,” he says in an anguished whisper. “How – how can we make it against the whole world?”
There was just no way to doubt the heart-breaking depths of their love for each other.
“I think I’m going to die from happiness. I think I’m going to die from pain… At the end of the day, it’s about how much can you bear, how much can you endure.“
Their desperation just seeps into your soul as they fight against the cruelty of fate and the odds of the world. *sob*
Lochan was such a gorgeous character, inside and out. To have been able to hold it together for so long and to make the ultimate sacrifice for the people he loved… I can’t even write about this without tears coming to my eyes.
Everywhere they turned, there was another closed door. The ending just ripped me to emotional shreds. I’ll repeat, NOT a HEA. My heart won’t heal. The ending was un-fixable, irreversible, and horribly tragic.
The tragic ending didn’t come out of the blue. You could feel it building from the start. I even knew about the twist at the start before I began the book and thought I was fully prepared mentally for it, but it didn’t help one tiny bit and did nothing to shield my heart from the sheer, unbridled PAIN of the ending… around the 80% mark events started unfolding and my heart just sank. It felt like it stopped. I just read with my hand over my mouth, rocking back and forth going ‘please no, please no, please please &$%# no NO NO!!!” . It didn’t help that I was prepared, even writing this now and thinking about it, I’m starting to cry again.
It brought to light a lot of questions. Why is our society/world so obsessed with who loves who?? I can understand certain misgivings from a biological perspective. Yes, siblings should never be allowed to have biological children. THAT is wrong, from a scientific standpoint, not a judgmental one. Its damaging to the gene pool. But if two people love each other and just want to be together… who are we to judge? In a world where technology can make their relationship safe (i.e. vasectomy, tube tying..), why not let them be together? Who are we to judge who can and can’t be together. So long as they are not having kids, why shouldn’t they be allowed to have a relationship?
Their story shattered my heart. It was haunting, beautiful, agonizing and tragic. If you are ever feeling brave enough to try it out, I’d highly recommend it. But you have to be in the right mood…. *sniff* This isn’t a story that I’ll ever forget.
Pepca says
Great review! I’m glad you loved the book although it is not your typical read. I prefer HEA ending, too, but I loved this one nevertheless. I completely agree with everything you’ve said. It’s such a tragic, but beautiful story. I was an emotional wreck after finishing it.
Aestas says
Thanks Pepca! yeah, I know this is a story that’ll stay with me for a long time…. <3
Sandy says
wow…..Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon brought me to gut wrenching sobs….the first 2/3 of his book.
I don’t know if I could emotionally handle another storyline so devastatingly tragic.
Aestas says
Acheron is one of my fav books ever – but he’s probably the the most tortured hero in the history of tortured heroes… although at least he gets a HEA.
This book was really amazing. If you are ever in the mood for a good cry, its one to keep in mind. It took me 6 months to work up the courage to read it…
Tabitha Suzuma says
SuzUma 😉
Aestas says
Aaaaaaaaa so sorry!! I changed it!
My real name is always being misspelled too – so frustrating!
Fixed now though 🙂
Jessie L says
Wow! What a review. Have to admit, this is not my normal pick for a book to read. But after reading your review, I will be checking this book out. Thank you!
Aestas says
Thank you!! This is totally not my normal book to read either – but having read it, I’m really glad I did. It was really emotionally shattering but yet I loved it. You just have to be in the right mood for it. It took me 6 months to work up the courage to read it… It makes me sad to even think about it, but at the same time I’m really glad I read it. Lots of conflicting emotions, but undoubtedly an amazing book
Gloria says
Yeah, this book was emotionally shattering. Just finished it and boy did I bawl my eyes out and kept pleading that it wouldn’t it the way that it did. It was really gut wrenching.. Loved it though.
Now I need to find something with a happy ending to ready 🙂
Aestas says
Yup… that sounds exactly like how I felt!
Have you tried Seduction and Snacks?
http://aestasbookblog.com/book-review-seduction-and-snacks-chocolate-lovers-1-by-tara-sivec/
Colleen says
I just finished this book last night after seeing it on your blog. I was fully aware of their situation and felt I was going to have trouble getting past the major taboo of their biological relationship, but I was so wrong. Right from the start I found myself rooting for them as a couple. Their love was so strong that I saw right past them being brother/sister, but more appropriately best friends/soul mates.
I knew from your review that it was not a HEA, but even knowing that I was still not prepared for how I felt when the book was done. You said it best when you described it as “gut wrenching pain”. I have always been an avid reader and have read all types of books, but never have I encountered a book that made me feel the way “Forbidden” did by the ending. I sat there for a long time afterwards feeling physically ill. I was absolutely devastated, shocked and just sad. I knew with a book of this type of nature it wouldn’t be a happy ending, but even still I was floored. I’m still sad today thinking about it. I wish they could have had their HEA 🙁
Thank you for all of the reviews, your blog is great!
Nycee says
Oh. My. God. Thank you for recommending this book. I saw this review on your blog and bought the book for my nook. It took a while for me to read the book just based on your review. As you said in your review, I thought I was mentally and emotionally ready to handle this book. Boy, was I wrong. I am emotionally shattered. This book took everything out of me. I loved this book. It was very well written and a great story. I found myself wish and hoping for a way for the siblings to be together. I needed for there to be a way. I felt their pain and wanted so much for this story to give some reprive from it. I knew that it was going to be a hard read. Nothing prepared me for it though. I know that this book will go down as one of my top 10, but I don’t think that I could ever bring myself to read it again. It was just too painful and shattering. I found myself crying for the last 50-80 pages of the book, and then tried to explain it to my husband who refused to read it because I was so upset behind it. Trying to explain the book, I couldn’t without crying uncontrollably. I thank you for introducing me to this amazing book. It will always be with me.
Aestas says
To both Colleen and Nycee – it really was a beautiful story, huh? God, just coming back and rereading some of my thoughts from the review has made me start to tear up again as I kinda “went” back into the story after reading your guys comments.
I totally agree with you guys, this book will always be with me. I don’t think I could Reread it though. Too much pain. But at the same time, I am SO glad that I did read it….
Maya, Maya, Maya… *SOB*
Zenia says
This is an amazing review!
I read ‘Forbidden’ 6 months ago, so my heart has finally healed – but reading your review just ripped it to pieces yet again and just thinking about this wonderful (and also really horrible) book brought tears to my eyes, but I love how your review captures the feeling of the story!
Ruby says
Forbidden is one of the best book ever ! So wrong it felt so right ! I wish Tabitha Suzuma wrote an alternate ending …
Honor says
I found this book a few weeks ago at my school library as I had nothing to read and I wanted to start the school year with something I wanted instead of something I had been forced to read. As soon as I saw the cover I saw that this would be a good book, I had never heard of it previously so I was not expecting the heart wrenching ending. This book has made me feel more than any other book in the world and I love the story and characters. I literally finished this book less than 15 mins ago but I just had to see some more opinions of this extraordinary book. Lochan and Maya are the most perfect couple this world has ever seen and they managed to cope with their dysfunctional family so brilliantly for so long that it doesn’t make the premice of this book seem so wrong. Like I said, I had no idea about the sad ending to this book and I am still a little shaken right now as I am typing this. This book is better than so many others that I have read and I was even hoping for a sequel so we can see one of the kids get a happy ending which they so greatly deserve. Again I must say what a brilliant book this is and I would recommend it to anyone, who could handle it at least.
Jolene says
I’m stunned by this book. Browsing through reviews to see how people react to the storyline. I think I like your vision the most 🙂 I knew about the taboo before I read it, but it didn’t feel taboo to me. The lines were already blurry from the beginning. And the struggles they both endure are so well written…
“Why is our society/world so obsessed with who loves who??”
Aestas says
I agree, it’s quite interesting to see the varying reactions to it!
Bex says
This book absolutely tore me apart. I will never ever forget it and it’s definitely in my heart but I could never read it again. I remember it with such clarity! It took me months to recover from it, (no joke) to the point where I couldn’t even think about reading anything for ages and was crying randomly when their tragic love came to my mind again – my boyfriend didn’t know what to do! I literally had to take time in life to mourn this book!! I don’t think I could sit and go through all that heart ache again. As I sit here writing this, I have tears in my eyes! So beautiful and yet so tragic. *SOB* WHY COULDN’T IT BE A HEA?! Loved your review Aestas! <3
Kristen says
You’re review is excellent. I completely relate to how you felt about this book. It’s one of my favorite books and will always be on my top 10 list of best reads ever.