Book Review — Five Years Gone by Marie Force

“Where’re you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“When will you be back?”
“I don’t know that either.” He held my face in his hands and gazed at me, seemingly trying to memorize my every feature. “I love you. I’ll always love you.” Then he kissed me as passionately as he ever had and was gone, out the door in a flash of camouflage.
I never saw him again.

• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Kindle)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Paperback)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Audiobook)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (iBooks)

GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

URGHHHHHHH.

ALJSKSJDALKJLKSJDKS

MY FEELS!!!!!!

*sniffle*

HOLY FREAKING HELL. This book wrecked me. I’m sitting here with mascara streaks all over my face. I have no idea what I’m feeling. I’m so deeply conflicted. But I am FEELING ALL THE FEELS with all of my heart. On one hand, this book was absolutely AMAZING. Like screaming-from-the-mountaintops AMAZING. It’s the kind of book that grabs you by the heart-strings and keeps you emotionally connected to every angsty word on every single page. But on the other hand, I’m so conflicted over the ending. SO CONFLICTED. This “situation” that built up over the book had to end one of two ways and even though this book has a complete epilogue, up until the very last word I was rooting for a complete different outcome…. Except, that I’m fully able to admit that even if I had gotten the other outcome, I probably would have still been left broken hearted. So now I’m just a complete and total emotional wreck whose torn between being fighting mad and yet totally in love with this book that has made me FEEL more than any other book has in a long time. Just…. GAH!!! WOW!!! UGH!!!

I need a hug.
And a drink.
And maybe a therapist. :/

*deep breath*

Ok I’m gonna try to do more than just unload all my messy convoluted feels here and review this book with as few details as possible because I really want you to go in spoiler-free cuz honestly I’m just darn curious to see what other people think about this ending. Like, seriously, I want to know.

So the story starts when John and Ava meet. They sparked from the first night they met. He was in the military and couldn’t tell her anything about his work, and she was trying to make a life for herself a little distanced from her overprotective family so they just shared their time together but kept their relationship a secret from the world.

They shared two beautiful, passionate years together until a deadly attack extinguished four thousand lives in the blink of an eye and he grabbed his go-bad, kissed her, walked out the door, and she never saw him again.

They weren’t married or engaged so she didn’t have any legal way to find out anything about his status. All she knew was the at the man she loved more than anything had vanished off the face of the earth and no amount of searching brought her anywhere closer to finding out even the smallest thing about what had happened to him.

She mourned him and the love they’d shared for five long years. And then she had to move on. She couldn’t give up the rest of her life to a memory and she had absolutely nothing tangible left to hold onto.

And everything changed at her sister’s wedding when she was paired up with Eric, the best man who, though fighting demons of his own, warmed a part of her heart that had been cold for so long.

He healed her and she healed him. He was a good man — the best kind, loving, caring, gentle, and understanding. He was everything she needed and they were able to support each other in ways neither of them thought they’d ever feel again.

Every mention of anything that connected to John, brought all the emotions she’d tried to bury crashing back. She healed, but just couldn’t ever truly let go. And no matter how much she tried to move on, she just couldn’t et go of the obsessive, instinctual need to keep searching for the man she’d loved. And Eric supported her every single step of the way — even when it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. And then… a shocking news story changed everything…

You guys, I seriously FELT Ava’s pain. The author conveyed it so well — it was the epitome of “showing rather than telling” and I was right there with the heroine every step of the way. Little things like how she’d read a paper connected to the events that took John away and all the feelings would surge back. As a reader, this made the story feel so much more real.

This story was BUILT so well. It was perfectly paced and took the time to let the emotions of the reader catch up to the characters. Nothing was rushed so I really felt like I was experiencing all the right emotions at all the right times and I really did feel incredibly connected to this story.

It was like a montage of piece after moving piece that together created this intricate web of emotional connections between the characters. And then this one massive moment threw everything into chaos. The complexities of my torn loyalties are a testament to how strong the righting was.

Prior to reading this, I’d been in a bit of a book rut. A lot of books sounded good to me but none were delivering that kind of emotional punch that I so deeply crave in the books I read. So from that standpoint, this book delivered in every way.

You guys I seriously CRIED while reading this. And the way I always know that a book is truly an amazing read is because I didn’t cry out of sadness, I cried out of sheer emotional overflow. I was completely lost IN the moment and the story and my heart broke because no matter which direction the story went it was guaranteed to be heart-breaking.

When I got to the ending I was literally like:

WHAT?????????

OH MY GOD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sorry, but just…. no!!!!!!

But like, I do get it. And I would have been devastated for *** if **** had **** but still.

I’m so conflicted, but honestly, I think would have preferred it had ended the other way around. Like, emotionally I’m not okay with the outcome. I was right there with her up until the end… but now my sympathies have just shifted. Although… in her defense, I can get where she’s coming from. And I feel like I would have been so sad if it had ended the other way too.

Okay… It’s like if you’re Team Outcome A then this is going to be the best and most satisfying book you’ve read in ages. But if you’re Team Outcome B, you’ll be left with your heart ripped out. BUT… and here’s the conflicting thing: regardless of if you’re rooting for Outcome A or B, you’re still gonna be broken hearted regardless so just… GAHHHHHHHHH!!!! To quote A Knight’s Tale: “Pain! Lots of pain!!!”

And because I’m still so conflicted I have no idea how to rate this book. Like, I want to give it 5+++ STARS, but that feels like a betrayal to my desired outcome. So what I absolutely can say with completely honesty is that this book has 5 STAR FEELS. I can’t promise you that you’ll love what it makes you feel… but regardless you’ll FEEL it with all your heart and soul.

All I can say is that one way or another, you’ll need a hug when you finish reading this book.
That, and a huge glass of wine.
And chocolates.
All the chocolates.

*sniff*

Fuck.

(PS: this can standalone. It has a complete epilogue. There will be another book though, a spinoff standalone focusing on another couple.)

• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Kindle)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Paperback)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (Audiobook)
• Buy FIVE YEARS GONE (iBooks)