“I think that everyone has that one person in their lives that can affect them, even if it’s been twenty years and they separated on bad terms, and Xavier is mine.”
This was one of those books where, from the moment I heard about it, I couldn’t stop thinking about the it and I just had to read it. In a way, you could call it a second chance romance with several twists but it was a little more complicated than that. Here, I’ll tell you what it’s about and you can see for yourself…
The only man that Melanie had ever loved was the same man who broke her heart and the same man she walked away. Not only had she and Xavier been in love, but their relationship was more than just romantic because he was also her Dom. But a rash decision and a series of unfortunate circumstances broke them apart… Now, six years later, he’s married with a four-year-old little boy and his wife, Alyssa, is dying with only a short time left to live so they bring in a nurse to care for her… and it’s Melanie!!
OMG.
Since I absolutely adore finding storylines I’ve never read before, I totally jumped at this one!
I loved the complexity of the situation. Melanie was now faced with working in the home she once lived in with her first love and caring for his dying wife while surrounded by the memories of their time together and the “what ifs” of the future they never had. Then there was Xavier, faced with the only two women he’d ever loved — one of whom a part of him had never stopped loving even after all the heart break, and the other one being the mother of his child who he’d grown to love after having his heart broken. And finally there was Alyssa — that strong woman determined to live every moment even as her body grew weaker each day, trying to find a way to keep her boys happy even after she was gone.
There are a few things I want to say upfront: there is no cheating. This also is not a BDSM book despite the fact that he used to be her Dom (that was their past, not their present). Also, it’s not really a love triangle either (or at least, coming from a person who dislikes triangles, this situation didn’t bother me at all). Xavier did love both Melanie and Alyssa, but differently. They represented different parts and different times in his life. When circumstances took his first true love away from him, he spiralled downward, but eventually he did learn to love the woman with whom he shared a child despite the unconventional start to their marriage. But, he and Melanie had the kind of love where no matter what happened in their lives, a part of him would always belong to her. Despite that though, he really was a genuinely good man. He’d made his fair share of mistakes in the past but his heart had always been in the right place and regardless of his feelings for Melanie, he did love his wife and would respect their vows no matter what.
“There was a time when Melanie was the most important person in my life. She was my world. And then everything we shared crumbled. Deep in my heart, I know that there will always be a place where Melanie resides, but I can’t allow that to come to the surface because Alyssa and Jacob are my life now. The bond that will never be severed with Melanie has to remain a secret because I will never do anything that will hurt them.”
I have to admit that I went into this book expecting to dislike, or at least resent Alyssa simply based on what she represented in the story. As a romance reader, she was the one standing between the two people I was naturally rooting for but, just like Melanie, I soon found it was impossible. She was too sweet, too strong, too caring. I really loved her too.
And Jacob. That little four-year-old angel tugged at all my heart strings and I really felt that he brought a raw honesty to the story. He was too young to fully understand what was going on but old enough to be aware of the huge impact it was making on his life. Seeing him with Xavier was especially heart breaking because they were both suffering the loss together. How do you explain to a little boy that his mother isn’t going to be there any more?
“For now, I need to focus on helping him create a lifetime of memories.”
*sniff*
The story was told in alternating perspectives. There were also little pieces of the past incorporated here and there in the form of memories — usually just a little paragraph or two at a time — and while this storytelling manner can sometimes be distracting, I actually really liked the way it was done here and felt it enhanced the story more than anything.
Xavier and Mel’s original break up was also explored a little and I think the toughest part of all was that there was no specific point of blame. They both made mistakes and both paid the price.
“There is so much I’ve fucked up when it comes to you and I’m not sure you’ll ever know how much I regret my decision.”
But for me, the crux of this whole book could be boiled down to this one line….
“I think that everyone has that one person in their lives that can affect them, even if it’s been twenty years and they separated on bad terms, and Xavier is mine.”
… when I read that line, tears sprang to my eyes because I really feel that is fundamentally true. I believe in that. I believe in the kind of love that even the worst heart break and betrayal can’t ever change. And that was the kind of love that Melanie and Xavier had.
“We have something special. Crazy and complicated, but what we share is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. Not twice, once.”
This story was definitely more than just a romance. It was about everything — love, loss, healing, regret, lost moments, final moments, life, death, and second chances.
“I love you, Melanie. I know I said that to you before and then hurt you, but I need you to know this time will be different.”
I genuinely enjoyed this book but in the interest of full honesty, I’ll say that I did have a few issues here and there… there were a few editing errors in the book that threw me a little, and one scene in the middle of the book that we didn’t actually get to see but that I would have liked to have experienced along with the characters. Another thing was that, as much as I enjoyed it, I also did find it a little predictable. In many ways, that was a good thing because there was nothing that ever happened that made me disrespect the characters or their decisions in any way, but at the same time, nothing ever shocked or surprised me and I think I would have just wanted the overall emotional impact to have been a little stronger. Don’t get me wrong, it was an emotional read though — I felt very connected to the characters and my heart was invested in the story — but I think that (given the set up), I would have wanted to have been pushed over the emotional edge just a little bit more. The flip side of that though is that I think this would be a great read for someone who wants a quiet, emotional story that won’t fully rip their heart out.
I have no idea what to rate it. I’m struggling with putting a number to this because I really felt a wide range of things over the course of the book but I think I’ll settle for 4+ stars.
