To celebrate the paperback release of one of my most favorite books ever, FIND YOU IN THE DARK, I have a special feature set up for you here that includes a deleted scene and a signed paperback giveaway!!
This is the first book of a completed series of two main novels and two novellas and I have to say that even though it’s been over a year since I read it, this story still stands out to me as one of the most beautifully written series I’ve ever read.
Maggie and Clay’s story was a deeply touching, heavy and emotional journey of the intensity, strength and beauty of first love coupled with the heart-wrenching hardships and struggles of someone affected by a mental illness (bi polar disorder). Their story shows you the light, pulls you into the dark and then brings you back to the light. My heart went out to Clay as he struggled with his illness and my heart went out to Maggie as she followed her heart and stood by him no matter what. The best way I can say it is that this story felt REAL – the journey, the characters, the struggles… Everything that happened was believable, powerful, and I found myself unable to stop thinking about the story even when I wasn’t reading it.
If you haven’t read this yet, please do grab either an eBook or Paperback copy and bump it up your TBR!!
And don’t forget to enter the signed giveaway at the bottom of the post 😀
Experience New York Times bestselling author A. Meredith Walters’s heart-wrenching story about the all-consuming power of first love.
Maggie Young had the market on normal. Normal friends, normal parents, normal grades…normal life. Until him.
Clayton Reed was running from his past and an army of personal demons that threatened to take him down. He never thought he had a chance at happiness. Until her.
Maggie thought their love could overcome anything. Clay thought she was all he needed to fix his messy life. That together, they could face the world. But the darkness is always waiting. Sometimes the greatest obstacle to true love is within yourself.
❤ SERIES READING ORDER ❤
Book #1 — FIND YOU IN THE DARK
Buy for Kindle | Buy in Paperback | Read My Review
Novella #1.5 — CLOUD WALKING
Buy for Kindle | Read My Review
Book #2 — LIGHT IN THE SHADOWS
Buy for Kindle | Buy in Paperback | Read My Review
Novella #2.5 — WARMTH IN ICE
Buy for Kindle
❤ DELETED SCENE ❤
Deleted Scene from Find You in the Dark
-Takes place while Maggie and Clay are in North Carolina-
Living life on the run wasn’t nearly as interesting as I thought it would be. Actually, it was pretty freaking boring.
And I swore if I had to watch another re-run of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I’d lose my mind. Rapping the lyrics to the opening song wasn’t nearly as fun as it used to be.
The dingy hotel room smelled stale and it was uncomfortably warm. I had opened the window to let in some air but the overpowering stench of diesel from the highway wafted in and made me want to gag.
I was getting cranky. And frustrated. And my entire focus was on not becoming bitterly resentful of the boy I had followed into this hell. Particularly when he seemed entirely too happy about our less than ideal situation.
“Get up, Maggie,” Clay said, coming out of the bathroom, his dark hair wet and slicked back from his shower.
I barely looked up from my now normal perch on the bed. I flipped through the channels, finally settling on Maury Povich.
Clay tossed his towel over the desk chair and snatched the remote control from my hands, turning off the television.
“But now I’ll never know who the father of Darleen’s baby is,” I whined.
Clay smirked. “I think you’ll live. Now get up, get a shower, and get dressed. We’re going out.”
I let out a deep sigh. “But what if someone sees us,” I reasoned, though I couldn’t help but get excited at the thought of leaving the confines of the four walls of my prison.
“We’ll be fine. But I can’t take seeing you like this. I hate seeing you sad. I need your smile, Mags. It’s what keeps me going.” Clay leaned down and kissed my mouth and like every time he touched me, I instantly responded.
I tried to wrap my arms around his neck but he chuckled against my lips and untangled himself from my embrace. “Uh, uh. We’re not starting that either.” He playfully smacked my thigh. “Come on. I want to take a drive.”
I grumbled under my breath but did as he asked. I got myself up and in the shower, not lingering too long under the warm spray.
Once I had dried my hair, put on minimal makeup and dressed myself in jeans and a sweater, I slid sunglasses over my eyes and followed Clay out to his car.
“Beautiful as always,” he murmured, opening my door for me. I leaned up on my tiptoes, kissing him again. I pressed into his body, loving the feel of him against me. He curled his fingers up into my hair as he ran his tongue along mine.
Clay left me breathless. Always had. And I had feeling he always would.
“Let’s go,” he whispered, pulling away and nuzzling my hairline. His lips danced along the curve of my ear. I shivered. I couldn’t help it. He gave me a mischievous grin before closing the door behind me, and heading around to the driver’s side.
Once in the car, Clay turned on the stereo, the soft strains of Placebo drifting from the speakers. He wore a huge grin, his excitement palpable. He seemed to buzz with an energy that was both contagious and suddenly disconcerting.
His moods were hard to gauge these last few days. He was either up or down, there was no in between. I had to admit, that I missed the in-between. These extremes were hard to handle and completely exhausting. It was like being in love with the Energizer Bunny on crack.
Clay tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove through the sleepy town we were calling our temporary home. Glass Lake was quaint in that dying a slow death sort of way. But it wasn’t a place I could see myself long term. Our plans were so transient. We had no real idea of our next step so Clay seemed to be embracing each moment as though it would be snatched from his fingers at any second.
He loved me intensely. He held me as if he’d never let go. He kissed me as though he couldn’t get enough.
It thrilled me.
And it terrified me.
“Where are we going?” I asked as Clay continued out of town, turning onto a winding country road surrounded by farmland.
He shrugged. “Does it matter?” he asked nonchalantly.
I tried not to dwell on the disquiet his off handed comment uncoiled in my belly. I forced a smile onto my face.
“I think country roads are the same wherever you are,” I mused, looking out my window at the cows and stalks of corn.
Clay’s hand curved around the back of my neck, his other still gripping the wheel. “This country road is better than most, though,” he said.
“Why is that?” I asked, leaning into his touch before he dropped his hand.
“Because it’s our road to somewhere,” he replied simply.
“Our road to somewhere?” I asked, not understanding.
Clay nodded. “Wherever we go, wherever we end up, we’ll get there…together. So think of this as the path to our future, one country road at a time.”
How could I argue with such a beautiful sentiment?
We were quiet for a while after that, me with a dopey grin on my face and Clay looking happier than I could ever remember seeing him.
And just like that, it started to change.
Like gathering storm clouds, Clay’s mood began to alter. Twisting and turning like the road in front of us.
He started to take the turns at a speed that made my stomach leap into my throat. The fields flew by, a blur outside my window. Clay was still grinning that heart melting smile that I loved so much but now it was tainted by the growing discomfort in my gut.
“Don’t you think you should slow down, Clay?” I asked, gripping my seat as we hurled forward.
Clay ignored my obvious anxiousness.
“I want to marry you,” he said suddenly and without preamble.
My eyes almost popped out of my head. “Well, I’m not exactly dressed for it,” I joked, feeling faintly sick as the car’s speed increased. I pressed my back into the seat and closed my eyes, but it made the nausea that much worse. I had a feeling that I was going to puke all over Clay’s clean interior.
And it wouldn’t just be from my carsickness.
“Not now, Mags.” Clay chuckled, his laughter tinged with an edge that had me worried.
“But some day. Soon, I hope,” he continued softly.
He reached across the seat and took my hand, lacing his fingers through my rigid ones. He lifted our joined hands and kissed my knuckles, his lips soft on my cold skin.
“You’re it for me, baby. I have never felt this way in my entire life. I would jump off a mountain if you asked me to. I would swim through an ocean of sharks, just to get to you.”
I laughed nervously, not liking the intensity of his eyes or the erratic movements of his hands on the wheel.
“Well, it’s a good thing I’d never ask you to do either of those things. I’m good with dinner and a movie,” I remarked dryly, pulling my hand from his. “Uh, seriously Clay, can you slow down a bit, I think I’m going to throw up,” I warned, knowing I had to look a little green.
“Sorry, Maggie.” Clay was contrite and I was relieved when the car ceased its insane pace.
I rolled the window down and felt a tiny bit better with the cold air on my face.
“Will you marry me, Maggie? Build a life with me? Be with me for the rest of our lives?” Clay asked sincerely and the need to vomit returned.
“That’s a really romantic proposal there, Clay,” I said sarcastically. “Somehow I never pictured being asked that particular question while in your car as I’m trying to swallow down stomach acid,” I bit out, a little annoyed by his careless questions.
Was he being for real? With everything going on it was just too much.
And with uncharacteristic girliness, I dreamed of a better marriage proposal than that.
My response was obviously not what Clay wanted to hear. He turned the volume of the stereo up, the angry beat of Halestorm abusing my eardrums. I looked over at my boyfriend and felt my stomach drop into my shoes.
He was pissed.
Really, really pissed.
I reached out and touched his arm but he jerked away, causing the car to careen off the road before he righted us furiously. “I didn’t mean to be a jerk. I’m sorry, Clay,” I pleaded.
“I put my heart at your feet and you throw it back in my face. What the fuck, Maggie? I want you! Only you! I will never want anyone else! But I don’t think you feel the same way! If I weren’t in the picture, I’m sure you’d be with someone else. Who would it be, Maggie? Who?” he yelled, his knuckles white as they gripped the steering wheel.
“No one, Clay! You’re being ridiculous!” I yelled back, fear and annoyance bleeding together.
“What about that fucker, Jake? You’d make a nice couple, don’t you think?” Clay seethed. He took the next turn too sharply and his car sideswiped a mailbox. The scrape of metal on metal made me cringe.
“Clay, you’re going to wreck your car!” I shouted, trying to break through his irrational behavior.
“Do you think I give a shit if I total this fucking thing? I hate this car!” he screamed, his foot pressing down on the accelerator.
We were going to die!
I was sure of it.
My heart began to thud in my chest in a rhythm that made it hard to breathe.
“Slow down, Clay,” I said, trying to be calm.
“This car is everything I hate! It represents everything I never had!” Clay went on, heedless of how dangerous he was acting.
What was he talking about?
“This was my parents’ kiss off! Don’t you get it, Maggie? This beautiful car…this awesome piece of machinery was to shut me up so I would leave them alone! It’s a state of the art mind fuck! I hate it! I want to drive it into the bottom of a fucking lake! Maybe I should! Maybe I should get rid of this thing once and for all!” Clay was becoming hysterical.
“Clay, you’re going to kill us both! Slow down!” I yelled.
I looked at the speedometer and saw that Clay was driving over 100 miles an hour.
“I have nothing, Maggie! I don’t have a family! I don’t have a home! If my parents had their way I wouldn’t even have my freedom! And one day I’ll lose you! I know I will! And that will kill me, Maggie! I can’t lose you! I’d rather die!” Clay grit his teeth and stared straight ahead but I wasn’t sure he was even seeing the road.
I wanted to touch him but I got the feeling that would be a bad move right now.
“You’ll never lose me, Clay. I promise!” I implored, trying to focus on Clay and not the world racing outside the window or the feeling of impending doom that left me paralyzed with fear.
“Promises don’t mean shit, Maggie! People always break their promises,” he threw back angrily.
“Not me, Clay! Not ever! Please! Just slow down!” I screamed
Clay suddenly turned the wheel, sending the car into the ditch. The front half drove into the field of corn and then we stopped. I was flung forward and I threw my hands out to stop me from hitting the dashboard.
Before I could figure out what the hell had happened, I was conscious of the sounds of Clay’s weeping. He had folded his arms over the steering wheel and buried his face in the fabric of his jacket, his shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs.
Without a second thought, I unbuckled my seat belt and crawled over the center console. I awkwardly wrapped my arms around Clay, laying my cheek on the top of his head. His hair was wet with sweat and he shook as I held him.
He didn’t say a word. He just let me hold him. And soon my own tears began to fall. I was crying for Clay. And for me. And for everything we’d never have. I couldn’t delude myself into thinking that ours was a story with a happily ever after.
Not for us.
So we cried together on that country road that would never lead to the future we wanted.
Because our tale wasn’t destined to end that way.
❤ SIGNED GIVEAWAY ❤
Open Internationally.
Void where prohibited by law. Must be over 18 to enter.
1 winner will a signed copy of Find You In The Dark.
SB Morales says
Thank You!!
Bonny McDevitt says
Would love to read this book <3
Shelly W says
I have not read this book yet but will add to my TBR list. Thank you for giveaway.
Charlene E says
I really loved this book! Thanks for the chance to have it on my bookshelf 🙂
MELISSA B says
Thank you for the giveaway! I haven’t read yet but can’t wait too.
Kristy Petree says
Lovely! I always welcome a chance to win the first book in a series, thanks! Story looks great.
Irma Jurejevčič says
I haven’t read it yet, but looking forward to do. Must say: AWESOME BLOG!!! Love you guys 🙂
Kristina says
Thanks
melissa says
Thanks for the chance
DJ Sakata says
looks tasty
Danita Bunce says
I have read and absolutely LOVED this series! I ugly cried during the bathroom scene 🙁
Nicole Johnson says
I LOVED this book. It ripped me open and left me heart broken and wrecked. Brilliant.
Lynn Smith says
thanks for the chance, haven’t read this book yet <3
Leslie T. says
Thank you for the chance!!!
Jessica Williams says
Parts of the book hurt my heart, but I loved it and couldn’t wait for the sequel!
Kristin A says
I haven’t read the book, but would love the chance to read it.
Linda Henderson says
I haven’t read the book yet but I certainly would like to.
April W says
Saying that I LOVE this series would be an understatement. This book touched me in a way others haven’t. A. Meredith Walters can write one hell of an emotional BUT realistic book! <3 <3 <3 I can't say enough good things about Find you in the dark and light in the shadows!
Sonya Byrd says
Adding this to my TBR, thank you for the chance Aestas!
Crystal W Smith says
Ive been trying to get to these to read them! Cant wait!
Zita R says
Have this one on my Kindle TBR. Thanks for the chance!
Jill P says
I absolutely love Maggie & Clay!! The whole series is wonderful!
Terrie Fulk says
This would be an awesome signed book to add to my collection. <3
Danny says
I haven’t read this but it looks great
Andi M. says
I haven’t read the book yet, but it’s on the top of my reading list.
Sue Mtz says
I love this book. I was intriguing. Thanks so much for the giveaway!
Cristina Riquelme says
Thanks for the giveaway!!!!!!
Jacqueline Sanders says
Thanks for the opportunity! I haven’t read this book or series yet but believe me I want to!
Vicki Hancock says
This book looks really good. Thanks for the chance!
PATRICIA BOOTH says
On my TBR and the next one up.
Cristina Riquelme says
Thanks for the giveaway
Robin the Book Nerd says
Would love to read this book!
Tiffany says
A new one for my tbr. Thanks!!!
Marcela Garcia says
participo, gracias!
Nicola Kate says
loved the book 🙂
Kathleen Nichols says
Thanks for the opportunity and the interesting deleted scene. I haven’t read this book but look forward to doing so. Thx!!!
Vera Machado says
Thanks for the amazing giveaway!
Mary Lowery says
Great giveaway! Thank you! I haven’t read it yet!
Daniel Castagno says
participo!
Carolyn J says
would love to read
Demitra says
Amazing series, thank you for the chance!!!
Mary La says
Thanks for the chance! Awesome giveaway!
Judy Z says
Yes, I read it and I LOVE Maggie and Clay!!!!! Would love to have a signed paperback!
Catherine Bates says
I loved this book and the subject matter it dealt with. Normally it’s something authors shy away from, but it’s a struggle that people go through.
Estêvão Sousa says
Thank you for giveaway! 🙂
Erica Bryan says
I haven’t read but new books are always great.
angelina says
Would love to read this book <3
Roselle Torres says
Thank you so much!
Kim Perry says
It’s on my TBR list! Thanks for the giveaway!!
Sara S. says
Great giveaway, I can’t wait to read it!
Dora Balfour-Lyda says
Would love to read these Books! Thanks for the giveaway!
Shannon Vandermark says
Thanks for this awesome giveaway! This is one of my favorite books!! Loved it!
Kim says
Thanks for the chance to win this awesome book!
Samantha Easterling says
Thank you for the chance. Would love to read this! Don’t have a twitter but did all of the rest.
Brandy Davis-Moss says
Would love to win! Thank you for an awesome opportunity!
Mara says
thanks for the giveaway!
Lariza says
Awesome loved Find you in the dark
Shannon says
LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this book!!! ty!!!!
Maria Theresa Santos says
Thank you for the giveaway
Samantha says
Thanks for the giveaway! This book is in my TBR pile.
Teresa S. says
I haven’t read it yet, but your blog has forced me to add it to my TBR list! Thanks!! 😉
Melanie Tracey says
Loved this book!
Jessica Kilgore says
See this book everywhere. Can’t wait to see what it’s about!
Stacy says
I haven’t read it yet but it is on my TBR list!!! 🙂
Ebony B says
I absolutely LOVE this book and this author!! Thanks for the giveaway!
Kimberly says
Thanks!
Mindy S says
Thanks for the awesome giveaway ! I LOVED this book !
Jay Bual says
I have long since wanted to read this book. Thanks for the giveaway!
Brenda Quezada says
Awesome!! Thanks for the chance 🙂
Donna Reynolds says
I so want to read this Thank you for the awesome chance.
Anita Powers says
I own all of the ebooks from this series and I have not read it yet but now that I have them all I am getting ready to read the series, my friend loved this series so I am excited, thanks
Jessie L says
Enjoyed reading the post for this book! Thank you for the giveaway.
Seth says
Awesome! thanks for the chance:)
Mel says
Haven’t read this but would love to. Sounds like a good reads. 🙂
Dana Fiore Stusse says
Thank you for the giveaway! I haven’t read yet but want to soon~
Lily M says
Thank you !!! This book sound good 🙂
Patricia Maia says
Sounds Great!!! Thanks!
Abigail W. says
Thank you!!
Aparna Singh says
Can’t wait to read it! 😀
Vickie Griffin Carter says
This made my heart hurt. I could feel the intensity of emotions in every word. I would love to have a copy of this book.
Carol Savoy says
Would love to read this book. Thank you for the chance to win.
Jenna Saporteza says
I havent read this series yet but I’ve heard quite a few good reviews. 🙂
BellaBookaholic says
Thank you for the giveaway!
Shani W says
i havent had a chance to read this yet, but thank you for the chance!!! 🙂
Andreea Ilie says
It look great! Thank you for the giveaway!
Yolanda says
thank you for giveaway
Kim S. says
I read Find You In The Dark awhile ago and loved it! Thanks for the chance!
Heather says
I have read this book & I LOVED it.
Kristelle says
Wooo. I’ve never heard about this book but it is pretty intriguing!!!
Gina H says
Have not read it yet, but looks like a great read! Thanks for the giveaway!
JS Glisson says
Love this book!
Michelle Cristobal says
Thanks for the giveaway!
Tish Delanoy says
Thanks for this opportunity 🙂
Amanda Vinson says
Thanks so much for the awesome giveaway!! I can’t wait to read this!
Kristi C says
Thanks for the opportunity!
Tracie G. says
Love, Love, Love Maggie and Clay’s love story….one of my favorites!!!!
Meri says
sounds great! haven’t reid it yet, but would love to! thank you for the giveaway! =)
Sharon Broom says
Fab giveaway! Thanks for the chance 🙂
Desiree Griggs says
Would definitely love to read this! Thanks!
Trisha S. says
Love the giveaways cuz even thought I don’t win it helps fill my TBR so I never run out of things to read. Thanks for a chance!
Lita says
Oh my gosh, thank you for having this giveaway!!!. I love Meredith’s work. I first read Find You In The Dark, and I just fell in love with the series and other books she wrote like Reclaiming The Sand. I can just read her books over and over and never get bored. I really hope I get this giveaway, it would mean so much to me , and then some!.
Sarah says
She’s a new author for me, but I love a good dark read. Thanks for the chance!
teri hartley says
thanks for the giveaway!!! 🙂
Kristy says
I loved the Find You In The Dark books….Maggie and Clayton’s story was a hard one full of angst and real life problems….but I loved it. 🙂
nella durham says
I haven’t read this series but it sounds sweet & heartwarming. Thanks for the giveaway.
Say says
Thanks for the giveaway.Would really love to win this book.Absolutely love it.
Jennifer Jones says
Thank you for the awesome giveaway!!
Marina S says
I have read this book and LOVED it!! I think perhaps a re-read is in order soon!!
Kim M says
New author to me, but looks like a very good book. Thanks for the giveaway.
Diana Doan says
I haven’t read it yet, but it’s high up on my TBR list. Thanks for the giveaway!
Colourful wordwench says
thank you <3
rhowie says
would love to win this unforgettable story of Maggy and Clay! KEEPING ALL MY FINGERS TOES ARMS LEGS EYES AND EVERRRYTHING CROSSED! >.<
Danielle Colmenero says
This author rocks!!!
Arvee Lising says
I have read the book and it is a fantastic read! Thanks for the giveaway. 🙂
Diana Alina Diaconescu says
thanks!!
Samantha Ruth says
This is such a great book!
Crys Christina says
Thank you!!!! <3 It's amazing!
Roxana P. says
I haven’t read it yet… yes, I know that I said this phrase too much , but it’s nonetheless true… so I would love to read this book!
Lea says
Thanks for the chance!!
Olivia Tan says
Thank you for the giveaway! I haven’t read yet but can’t wait too.
Thanks
Kristia says
thank you for the amazing giveaway 🙂
eleonor says
thank you for this giveaway!!
Betul E. says
<3 this giveaway
Tora Anne So G says
Thank you for the chance !!
Laina G says
I haven’t read it yet! Thanks for the giveaway!
Rachelle says
Wonderful book.. Deals with a very difficult subject it was written so beautifully. Thanks for the giveaway 🙂
Sharyl Saromines says
Thank you for the giveaway!!! More power to you.
Tiffany Marie (Everything Marie) says
thanks for the giveaway
Cindy says
omg i want to read this book so bad <33 thanks for the chance!
Pauline A says
This book is amazing. Got me fall hard for Clay.
Tiffany says
Read and loved this entire series-thanks!!
Ivana says
Haven’t read it yet but it’s been on my TBR list for a while now. Thank you! 🙂
Viki says
I actually love everything Ms Walters writes. FYITD is an awesome book, but Reclaiming the Sand is my favorite from her.
Jodie Larson says
I loved Clay and Maggie’s story!! Such heartbreak and drama for two souls who know they should be together and fight the forces that be to make sure they do!! Love it!!
Anto Devetac says
Thank you so much for the chance!
Michelle O'Neill says
This book sounds so awesome…loved the except. thanks for the giveaway
Christina Robinson says
Thank you for the chance. Haven’t read this yet.
Kelly K says
Thank you!
Amie Knight says
Amazing giveaway! Thanks!
Tammy Dalley says
I haven’t read it but would love too!!!
Elisa Villanueva says
Looking forward to reading it!