4.5 stars

Book Review – The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

April 30, 2013 by Aestas · 8 Comments

Buy THE FAULT IN OUR STARS (Kindle)

“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”

Life is unfair. Absolutely, positively unfair.

But, while not all stories have happy endings, but it doesn’t make their journey any less beautiful.

I’ll admit, I was terrified to read this. I’ve had a copy of it for the last year and every time I’ve come even close to starting it, I just chickened out and chose something else. But now, having read it, I’m actually kicking myself now for having put it off.

Honestly, what I expected of this book was just SO different from what it actually was and what my reaction to it was. I expected to sob uncontrollably, but I didn’t. I expected it to be mostly a sad book, but it wasn’t really, at least, not until the last third. And I expected most of it to take place in a hospital, it didn’t. I was wrong on pretty much every account, except the ending. I knew the ending. The thought of it alone made my heart break, but in the last few weeks something about this book has just kept me coming back to it, so I just went for it.

The ending is incredibly sad, but the book wasn’t sad as a whole. There were a lot of really sweet moments of just two teens falling in love. The ending reminds you of how unfair and cruel life can be but the story is beautiful.

Now, just to clarify about the tears, despite the fact that I didn’t actually cry or sob at the end (which was really surprising to me), today I’ve been feeling kind of “down” and “sad” and it made me realize that I think this book affected me much more deeply in a way that wasn’t quite so apparent as tears, but no less strong.

But, I did get SERIOUSLY choked up and teary at the end. I felt my heart break, and I deeply felt the incredible tragedy of their story.

That said, while I knew to expect sadness, what I didn’t expect at all was to laugh. I laughed, I smiled, and I chuckled. So much of this book was just downright cute and funny!

“So anyways, at the end of the [driving] test, I totally thought I’d failed again, but the instructor was like, “Your driving is unpleasant, but it isn’t technically unsafe.”

The book was told from Hazel’s POV and I loved her voice. She was just so full of life (ironic, yes, but very true!). As a teen, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. It was supposed to be terminal, but thanks to a miracle drug, she’d continued to live. And while she had to carry an oxygen tank around with her at all times she was still living her life, surrounded by her loving family and living each day to the best she could.

In Support Group, she met Augustus. Ohhh Augustus! So self-assured, gorgeous, witty, and just wonderful. He had a form of cancer that had an 80% survival rate, and was doing quite well for the most part. And he and Hazel struck up a friendship that, over the course of the book, developed into so much more.

When he first appeared on scene, I felt that sort of instant connection and love for him that you feel when you meet those special book characters that steal your heart. I knew when I met him though, that there was no way this book would not break my heart. He was just downright swoony – in an oddly witty and endearing way.

This book is full of absolutely beautiful quotes! The quotes were actually what made me decide to start the book. I see them posted everywhere and every time I read one, my heart just squeezes.

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”

“That’s the thing about pain… It demands to be felt.”

“I took a deep breath through my nose. There was never enough air in the world, but the shortage was particularly acute in that moment.”

“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

I will say this though. I did feel a slight disconnect from the book in certain places. There is a side story line revolving around a book that Hazel and Augustus are reading that at times I felt that certain scenes relating to it pulled me away from the main characters. I understand how vital it was to the story line, but (and I don’t know if this really makes sense to say this) I felt that they had so little time left that I just wanted to get back to ‘them’ and spend every minute focused on ‘them’.

For the first half of the book, I honestly spent most of it smiling. I loved watching Hazel and Augustus fall in love. It was slow, sweet, and beautiful… and sometimes you just forgot what they were going though. Sometimes, they just seemed like regular happy teens – gorgeously intelligent, fun, flirting teens.

“May I see you again?” he asked. There was an endearing nervousness to his voice.
I smiled. “Sure.”
“Tomorrow?” he asked.
“Patience, grasshopper,” I counseled. “you don’t want to seem overeager.”
“Right, that’s why I said tomorrow,” he said. “I want to see you again tonight. But I’m willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious,” he said.”

But then, in both small and huge ways, you get reminded of the things they’ve been through and continue to go through and it just hits you so strongly. Makes you wonder how they could possibly manage to be so happy? How had life not just broken them? They had been through everyone’s worst nightmares and yet were still so strong. Their resilience was heartwarming and inspiring.

But they were falling in love while living on borrowed time and when the inevitable reveal hit, it just broke my heart. I knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it easier. Not one bit.

As many of you know, this book does not have a happy ending. It’s tragic and gut-wrenching and will leave your heart aching.

“We’d had this brief but still infinite forever.”

“Maybe ‘okay’ will be our ‘always’.”

“I love you present tense”

It’s so rare for me to read a book that doesn’t have a happy ending, but I felt I had to make an exception in this case. The Fault In Our Stars was a beautiful book, with beautiful moments and a beautiful story. Augustus and Hazel have a special place in my heart now.

But yeah, my heart still hurts. A lot.

Okay?
Okay.

*sniff*

4.5 stars

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to read this book!

CASTING:

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

Book Review – Arouse (A Spiral of Bliss #1) by Nina Lane

April 28, 2013 by Aestas · 7 Comments

Buy AROUSE on Kindle
Buy AROUSE in Paperback

4.5+ stars

“No,” I murmur against her hair… “We are not freakishly happy. We are not freakishly anything. We’re two people who love each other. We had a tough time. We worked it out because we want to be together. Because we can’t imagine being with anyone else. Because we don’t want to be.”

Arouse is a beautifully detailed, thoughtful, and introspective story that truly makes you feel for the strength and resilience of a marriage based on true love. It takes you through the struggles, through the pain and the heartache and then brings you through to the other side.

We’ve all read the stories of first love and second-chance love… but few stories are actually about a marriage.

This is a spoiler-free review.

I’m always on the lookout for “different” reads and what made AROUSE stand out and grab my attention was that it was about an already married couple. It seemed to almost start after the point where most books would end. It was almost like the post-epilogue book. So often the books we read are about a couple who meets and falls in love and then their story ends with them ready to forge a life together, but we rarely see a story (that isn’t in the middle of a series) start out with an already established couple.

Arouse was the literal continuation of a happily ever after, and while most books end there, after the couple has made their connection, fallen in love, and cemented their relationship, this one actually began several years into Dean and Liv’s marriage. Theirs was a marriage built on love, trust, desire, and a strong sense of security in each other… But this book explored what happens when something as little (and as big) as one tiny question lead to a ripple effect that could threaten their happily ever after? What happens when no matter how hard they tried to fix their relationship, things continue to spiral out of control?

I fell in love with Dean and Liv. As a couple, they stole my heart. I loved them, individually and together. They were the ideal couple – crazy about each other, supportive, understanding, passionate, and yet neither of them were perfect. They had insecurities, jealousies, misunderstandings… and secrets.

Every part of this story felt real, believable, and understandable. The drama came from such things you’d expect any couple to deal with and while there were some things that I felt both Dean and Liv over reacted to, I always could understand where their feelings came from.

There was angst, but it wasn’t the rip-your-heart-out kind, but rather it was the quiet kind that you feel subtly throughout the whole book.

When they first met, Dean could tell Liv was different. She was strong, and yet damaged and scarred from a childhood’s worth of trauma. He understood that about her. He knew that her heart needed protecting and he wanted to give that to her.

“I don’t want you to walk away,” I said.

“Good.” The lines between his eyes eased with relief.

I gripped his wrists, a knot of fear binding my throat. “But you… you might want to go,” I warned.

Darkness flashed in his expression. “Why?”

My eyes stung. I swallowed hard.

“Here be monsters,” I whispered.

A heartbeat of silence, brewing with danger, filled the space between us. Then Dean tightened his hold on me and, with his thumbs, brushed away the tears that spilled down my cheeks.

“Liv,” he said, his voice rough with tenderness, “you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll slay monsters for you.”

Because I’ll slay monsters for you. **MELT**

But after they got married, they moved for his work. Liv wanted to support him and was happy to move – at first content with being Professor Dean West’s wife. But she thought she’d find a little something of her own, something to work towards for herself. A few years and many closed doors later, she finds herself feeling a little lost despite loving her husband dearly.

I fell hard for Dean. He was described as a cross between a hot hunk and a brilliant professor at the university (though, NOT her professor) and my sweet heaven was he SWOONY. He calls Liv “beauty”… in a deep voice.

“Come here, beauty,” he says, “You need to be kissed.”

I don’t know why but with his character, I could so clearly hear his voice in my head when I was reading which rare. I usually visualize, but with him, I heard. He was just so protective and yet gentle with her. You could just feel how much he loved his wife – completely, with all his heart. There was no room for anyone else in there and I loved that about him. Throughout all their ups and downs, all their struggles, the one thing I never doubted about him was that Liv was it for him.

“Since the day we met, I haven’t wanted anyone but you… Never looked at another woman… Never thought about one. It’s always been you, Olivia.”

“Don’t you want to touch me?” I whispered.
“More than I want to breathe… One day I’m going to touch you in a thousand different ways and show you how to touch me,” Dean slid his hand over the back of my neck. “But right now, were just going to make out.”

The imagery is very vivid. And there was this undercurrent throughout the story… something that you couldn’t put your finger on at first. Something hidden that would change things for them.

I watched them fall apart but I didn’t understand why at first. There are natural consequences to miss-communication and to a lack of communication. However, its also human nature to hide things. And sometimes we’re trying so hard to do what’s right for the other person that it’s easy to forget that it should be their choice.

Secrets have a way of always coming out. And when you’re in a relationship with someone who is supposed to know all of them, finding out there is still something your partner is hiding from you can be potentially devastating. So when the secrets come out, it puts the strength of their marriage to the test.

“Don’t leave me, beauty.” His voice is a rough whisper.
“Never.”

This is a very real story. I don’t know a single couple who has a perfect marriage. And that’s because no one is perfect. Dean and Liv were no different. They loved each other, that was undeniable. But it didn’t stop them from hurting each other – however unintentionlally.

Mostly, the story is told primarily from Liv’s POV although, around 60% in, we start to get Dean’s POV which was a very welcome switch at the time because I felt I had a really strong handle on Liv and her thoughts, opinions etc but I needed to get inside Dean’s head to complete the picture.

This book is definitely adult. The title does not lie – The sex scenes are beautifully erotic. They weren’t just hot, but were also emotional which I loved.

“Easy, beauty,” He presses his mouth to the tears that have slipped from the corners of my eyes and down my temples. His breath rasps against my ear. “Come first, and then I’ll fuck you.”

I will say that there were a few slow points in the story for me, but in a realistic way I guess. In real life, issues aren’t always resolved overnight and this book reflected that well. And it didn’t stop me from crying when they worked it all out. *sniff* I was so emotional at their resolution point. I just needed that relief after all the heart ache.

“His hands tighten on mine. “You’re so damn strong, Liv, and you don’t even realize it… And you… You’re the first person whose ever… Christ, Liv, sometimes the way you look at me makes me feel like I can hang the fucking moon.”

The ending was what I’d call a ‘happy-for-now’ ending. No brutal cliffhanger, but something happened at the end (a good something) that has me wanting the next book like now!

I started the review with this quote and I’m going to end it with this quote, because of all of them, I feel this one represents the story the most:

“No,” I murmur against her hair… “We are not freakishly happy. We are not freakishly anything. We’re two people who love each other. We had a tough time. We worked it out because we want to be together. Because we can’t imagine being with anyone else. Because we don’t want to be.”

♥

4.5+ stars

CASTING

Dean
Olivia

❤ THE “A SPIRAL OF BLISS” SERIES ❤

BOOK #1 — AROUSE
Buy for Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My Review

Book #2 — ALLURE
Buy for Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My Review

Book #3 — AWAKEN
Buy for Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My Review

Book Review – Twisted Perfection (Rosemary Beach #3) by Abbi Glines

April 24, 2013 by Aestas · 16 Comments

“I’ll be whatever she needs me to be. I can’t walk away from her, I tried. I’m hooked.”

Each book from Abbi Glines is more addictive than the last!

I read Twisted Perfection in one sitting and was glued to the page, unable to put it down. It was hot, steamy and sometimes a little dirty *winks*, with a fast-paced plot and lovable characters. It’s a little darker than the Too Far books, but I’d still actually consider it a relatively light read.

Having lived her whole life with a mentally ill mother who, out of her personal fears, kept her inside all the time, Della finds her life unexpectedly changed when her mother dies. Three years later, she is still struggling to find herself and decides a road trip is the best answer. So she throws all caution and inhibitions to the wind and heads out. At her first rest stop, she meets Woods.. And ohhhh my do they have chemistry. She isn’t looking to stick around, but she can’t help but take up his offer of dinner… and more.

Woods has enough going on in his life. Too much. He’s being pressured from his family to marry a woman he dislikes for the ‘good of the family business’. It’s either that, or he loses his part of the business and everything he’s worked towards his whole life. The thought makes him miserable but, he wants the job desperately and so is just trying to delay the inevitable marriage.

So when he sees Della at the gas station, he sees perfection. She is exactly what he needs right now. A fun time that would drive away afterwards – no strings.

What neither of them counted on was their hearts getting attached and despite the fact that they both drive off after their night together, fate soon crosses their paths again and this time, they’re not leaving each other.

“My future was about to be thrown off track because Della Sloane was under my skin and I had to have her.”

Woods. Was. Delicious. Purely delicious!! And yummy. Very yummy. Ohhh and a bit of a dirty talker but he still called her sweetheart right from the start which was super sweet. He was protective and I loved that being around Della brought out his hothead caveman side. It was seriously swoony!

I really liked Della. She was broken in many ways but at the same time was really quite free. She may not have been experienced at relationships but she certainly wasn’t shy at going after what she wanted with Woods and I have to say it was refreshing to read her kind of character who on the one hand was like that while at the same time, really messed up inside. It was a cool mix. She had issues, but they didn’t take over every part of her life.

I don’t know a better way to describe Abbi’s books than by saying that reading them feels like watching a very well-written, addictive TV show. The scenes, they way their cut together, everything about them just makes me feel like I’m watching it happen right in front of me.

This book certainly brings on the angst in certain scenes!! Serious, serious angst. BUT! And here’s what I loved about it: the main angst (at least to me) is resolved in the first half of the book, leaving the second half to be focused quite a bit on Woods and Della sorting their relationship out, which I really enjoyed. That isn’t to say there isn’t angst in the second half, ‘cuz there is, but it’s a different kind (less nerve wracking, more focused on sorting issues out) and I appreciated the switch up.

“You are mine. Do you hear me? You are mine, Della Sloane. I will take care of you. Nothing is taking you away from me. Nothing.”

There is a bit of a love “square” going on for part of the book, but it was clear that Woods was never in love with the girl he was supposed to marry, it was more a question of him falling in love for the first time in his life and being put in position of having to choose “head or heart”? And while Della also connected with another guy she met on her road trip, her heart really always belonged to Woods.

That being said, their road to getting together was a fair bit bumpy, but, honestly, it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun if the ride had been smooth, lol.

Della goes through some pretty hard issues in the book and I loved how supportive Woods was of everything. They were just a wonderful couple together.

And speaking them as a couple, this book was full of panty-ripping hotness. For real. As I mentioned, Woods has a bit of a dirty mouth and Della just loses it around so they’re a pretty explosive together. Hot, hot, HOT! Lol, sometimes, I’ll admit, it was borderline awkward in places to me, but most just plain freaking hot!

And I really have to give a bit of a shout-out to some of the awesome supporting men in this book. First to Tripp, who had better be getting his own damn book cuz that man has SWOON. I want more of him! And then also to Kent, who made my heart melt even though he was only in like two small scenes. Holy heart warming protectiveness!

For those of you wondering about cameos, Blaire does have a brief cameo but neither she nor Rush play a central part in the book. As much as I love their characters though, I didn’t miss them here. I was happy to see the book focused on Woods and Della.

The ending had me flipping pages like crazy. I knew it would all work out but that didn’t stop me from being worried, lol. You know how it is 😛

To soothe your hearts, you should know that there is no relationship cliffhanger! The book ends in a good place relationship-wise. However, this is NOT a stand alone and there will be a sequel out in the fall, so there is a bit of a plot-related cliffy in that something happened at the end to make me want more of the story, but at the same time, it left them in a place where my heart could be happy to wait till the fall. At the end of the book, they are very much together as a couple. So, you will not want to throw your kindle at the wall. It’s all safe!! ♥

See?

“Is she forever for you then? She’s worth throwing it all away?”…
“She’s it. No one else. She’s all I’m ever gonna want.”

I loved the book and totally enjoyed spending my evening wrapped up in this world.

Definitely recommended if you are looking for something quick, hot, swoony, slightly angsty, fast-paced and addictive 🙂

4.5+ stars

♥♥♥♥

SERIES READING ORDER EXPLAINED!!!

I know there’s been a bit of confusion over these series’ reading orders so hopefully this’ll answer your questions:

Ok, so originally, Twisted Perfection was supposed to be the 3rd book in the TOO FAR series. The first two books were Fallen Too Far and Never Too Far. Those two books followed Rush and Blaire’s story and then the original third book (Twisted Perfection) was supposed to be Woods’, followed next by Grant’s. This all changed when, by popular demand, a third book “Forever Too Far” about Rush and Blaire was added to the TOO FAR series. After this change, Abbi Glines then combined the two series into one new series called ROSEMARY BEACH.

** SERIES READING ORDER **

#1 FALLEN TOO FAR — RUSH
Kindle | Paperback | My Review

#2 NEVER TOO FAR — RUSH
Kindle | Paperback | My Review

#3 TWISTED PERFECTION — WOODS
Kindle | Paperback | My Review

#4 FOREVER TOO FAR — RUSH
Kindle | Paperback

#5 SIMPLE PERFECTION — WOODS
Kindle | Paperback

#5 TAKE A CHANCE — GRANT
Kindle | Paperback

Book Review – Going Under by S. Walden

April 17, 2013 by Aestas · 19 Comments

4.5 – 5 stars.

Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

This book did a number on me.

It addressed a tough, intense, gritty subject matter in an evocative, well-written way.

It was gutsy, controversial, and painful at times but also, raw, honest, and in the end, beautiful.

This is not a story I’ll ever forget.

I feel the need to put a bit a warning at the front of the review that contains a bit of a spoiler, but I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable reviewing this book without being upfront about it. This won’t spoil the story, or give away any of the twists because the issue is addressed in the first 5% of the book but you should know the following before reading this book: This book contains an intense rape scene. It was a graphic, but not “over-done”, written from the POV of the victim, and I’m not going to lie that it left me feeling shaken.

Without giving too much away, the set up of the book (and you discover this at about 6% in) is that the heroine, Brooke’s best friend Beth was raped in high school but she felt unable to come forward publicly with an accusation. She kept it to herself and that coupled with other emotional hits in her life drove her to commit suicide. Brooke is left feeling guilty for not having protected her in the first place. So when mom moves away, she decides to go live with her dad and spend her senior year at Beth’s high school with the hopes of being the voice of the victim and willing to go to any lengths to bring down the guy who destroyed her best friend’s life. Her plan is to lure Beth’s rapist, Cal, (one of the “popular” guys ) into raping her so that she can them come forward with a statement and put him away for good where he can no longer hurt anyone.

“A righteous anger flared in me immediately, and just like that, I discovered a purpose. My purpose. It flooded me instantly, a great wave slamming into my mind and my heart, carrying with it the courage and conviction of my newly formed plan… And I transformed into the predator. He just didn’t know it yet. He thought I was the prey, and I’d let him.”

But the deeper she digs, the thicker the plot gets. She overheard Cal and his friends and discovers that they have a twisted sex club with with charts, scoreboards and tasks all involving getting various girls at the school in bed or on their knees. To make matters worse, they are willing to go to any lengths including drugging the girls to get their points and she soon discovers a whole trail of girls who were once happy and full of life and but were now missing that light in their eyes. And what she wasn’t counting on that only made matters more complicated was Ryan, the beautiful guy she meets at school who was swoony and thought the world of her but was also very mysterious and clearly hiding some dark secret of his own.

I’ll leave you at that. The rest of the story you can discover if you choose to read this, which, if you can handle the subject matter, I do encourage you too.

Interestingly though, despite the heavy subject matter, this is not a dark book. It takes place in high school and definitely has a measure sweetness to it.

Brooke is very much the center of this story. She was a smart, strong and sassy heroine who was also fragile, hurting and emotionally cut up on the inside. She felt very real. She messed up, had fears, insecurities, nightmares and more but deep down she was tough as nails and willing to go to any lengths for her friend.

I had so many questions about Ryan! He was so quiet and mysterious, not to mention just plain hot. I loved how he made her feel like she was the only girl in the world and yet didn’t ask for anything in return. But the mystery around him was thick. I wanted to know more about him and my mind kept running through all sorts of theories behind his secrecy.

“Why are you so mysterious?” …
“Look, you probably don’t want to be associated with me at school, okay?… I guess I’m a bit of a pariah. And I don’t mind. I just don’t wanna drag you down.”
I looked at him, astonished. “Okay. You just upped the mysterious factor by a trillion.”
He laughed.

I know for a solid fact that abuse happens more often than people realize in schools. It has happened to someone I know and it has happened to thousands of others. I thought this book did a great job of highlighting that. Of showing how easy it was for the monsters to hide in plain sight and cover their tracks. And of how chillingly normal everything could look on the surface.

“He didn’t seem like a predator… I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely new light. Most bad guys weren’t running around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn’t come across freaky and frightening…Most bad guys were normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else… They were hard to spot and that’s what made them so good at being bad… They could get away with it, and they knew it.”

I got totally lost in this story. In both the morbid fascination mixed with extreme fear to see how Brooke’s story line with Cal would play out as well as totally lost in the swoon of her and Ryan.

It’s one of those books that has you almost crying in one moment and then laughing out loud the next.

I loved this quote. Brooke loves to paint and while this quote is about her painting, I really felt that it represented the book as a whole:

“You think you know what to expect. You think you have it all planned out. But something in you always surprises you, and it’s a buzzing undercurrent that keeps you silently guessing until your picture is complete.”

The character dynamics and relationships were all brilliant. Brooke and her friend Gretchen – hilarious, bonded BFFs. Brooke and Call – creepy as all hell and deeply chilling. Brooke and Ryan – hot, mysterious, swoony, gorgeous. Brooke and her dad – sweet, touching, healing… the list goes on.

Now, I need to address the issue of rape in this book. The first thing to note is that it was handled in a very realistic manner. It was graphic and chilling. But, as I said earlier, not over done. That being said, I honest to God, just felt sick to my stomach. I had a good long think after this book. This book really read like a 5 star book to me. But after reading *that* scene, a big part of me just wanted to throw it all out and never look at the book again. That was part of my gut instinct reaction. But then I thought about it. This happens in real life. Every day. Woman and girls across the world are violated and abused each day. And I had to look past how hard it was for me to read it and realize what an important message this book was telling. I did however need a little bit of time to just sit and process my emotions.

This book is about the tragedy borne of silence, of finding the strength to speak out, and the righteous delivery of justice. It is also about finding love, finding forgiveness and following your heart no matter what.

There is a love story in this book. A passionate, heartbreaking romance that does have a happy ending. It is no fairy tale to be sure. But don’t worry about having your heart permanently shattered, because there is healing and despite being shaken, I was left in a good place.

This is a stand alone.

*** The author does not encourage rape or sexual assault victims to read this book and I strongly agree with her.

PURCHASE LINKS

GOING UNDER (Kindle)
GOING UNDER (Paperback)

CASTING

Ryan
Brooke

Book Review – Connected (Connections #1) by Kim Karr

March 22, 2013 by Aestas · 10 Comments

What if ‘Once in a Lifetime’ could happen twice?

WOW. That ending. Just… WOW.

Its not often that a book can really pull the rug right out from under me with a revelation like that but I swear to you I did NOT see that ending coming!! Wow. Wow. WOW. Amazing!

The majority of the book read as a solid 4-star read for the most part. I liked the characters, I liked the story, and enjoyed my read. There were a few scenes here and there that were just phenomenal, but for the most part, I sat at a very happy 4 stars. Until the end. The last 15% or so were a solid 5 stars. Have I said “wow” yet? ‘Cuz it deserves to be said again!

Yes, the ending is a cliffhanger. Technically. But it’s also not really. It’s an ending that I wouldn’t change for anything. It is probably one of the best story twists I’ve read. I’ve thought about it a lot and honestly, the story just would not have had the same impact if it had ended differently. Let’s put it this way, I hate cliffhangers, but I loved this ending. Why? Because of what it opened up for the future story lines.

Right. So what’s this book about?

Dahlia London had a loving boyfriend, wonderful friends and a beautiful life. But a chance encounter with a local rockstar, River Wilde, threw her world off its axis for a moment. They had a connection. An intense, undeniable connection.

“When our eyes connected it felt like minutes, in reality it was mere seconds. At that moment, something happened inside of me. The connection was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was an electric pull that willed me in and forced me to keep looking at him….could love at first sight even exist when you were already in love with someone else?”

And then she walked away.

But her world is shattered the day her boyfriend, who has also been her best friend since childhood, is killed. Her entire life comes crashing down. He has been a constant in her life since she can remember and she can’t even begin to imagine going on without him.

Those scenes were incredibly well written. Losing a loved one is one of the worst nightmare scenarios imaginable and the author captured that feeling of utter loss and despair so vividly. I wanted to cry. My chest constricted. My throat closed. It was powerful and heart breaking.

But as time moves on, eventually she finds the need to allow her heart to mend. And when River comes back into her life, that connection they had that one time is rekindled and magnified. It was always there, but now, there is nothing standing in their way.

“I feel like fate has brought us together again. I also believe that one night, so long ago, just wasn’t the right time for us. But tonight is.”

Ben was perfect for her – he truly was her match. But … so was River. He was her soul mate. I truly fell in love twice in this book.

I really liked that nothing about this book felt rushed. I felt that there was enough time between Ben and River that I, as a reader was allowed the time to grieve, and by the time River came into Dahlia’s life, it was the right time and I too was ready to move forward.

That being said, I really appreciated Dahlia’s struggle with not being able to or wanting to move on at first, but at the same time being faced with the reality that her boyfriend just wasn’t coming back. And finding that point within her heart where she felt she could open it up again to love.

I absolutely LOVED that River never tried to replace Ben. He knew what Ben meant to her and despite naturally having his own worries, he both honored and respected his memory and her need to keep him in her heart. And to me, that spoke volumes about the kind of man he was.

Music plays a huge role in this story. Both the song references, the playlist at the beginning of the book and the chapter titles all serves to better connect the pieces of the story together.

This book has so many wonderful elements – rockstars, swoon, passion, heart break, loss, healing and hotness!!!! Yes, there is sex! Most certainly an adult read!

“I swear I won’t stop until your legs are shaking and every hotel guest on this floor knows my name.”

And… there’s even a little shout out to Kellan and Jake in this book! How cool is that?? Rockstar cameos!

The first chunk of the book is written from Dahlia’s POV but later on we are treated to quite a bit of River’s side of the story. I liked seeing how felt about everything – seeing his fears despite how understanding he was. And seeing how completely and utterly in love with her he was.

“I never imagined I could feel so connected to anyone as much as I feel connected to you. I knew I loved you from the moment I saw you. How could I not? Loving you is as easy as breathing.”

So about that ending!!! Seriously… that last 15% …. Holyyyyyyyy WOW! I didn’t see it coming. I thought of every possible theory but that one. I got chills. Shivers. EVERYTHING just all came together. LOVE LOVE LOVED the twist!!!!

Is it weird to say that I would describe it as a cliffhanger that I loved? I both loved and hated it. I hated it because I desperately wanted more, and I loved it because honestly, it was just a freaking AWESOME twist and I wouldn’t change it for anything!

“Dahlia, I will love you forever… in this lifetime and in the next.”

What if once in a life time truly CAN happen twice? Kim Karr’s debut novel made me fall in love twice and just blew me away with the ending. I can’t wait for more of her books!

4.5 stars overall (4 stars for most of the book but 5 huge stars for that ending!)

Book Review – Insanity (Asylum #1) by Lauren Hammond

March 20, 2013 by Aestas · 8 Comments

4 – 4.5 stars.

“I. Am. Not. Crazy. That’s just ludicrous. Ridiculous…. I can’t be. But if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be here, right? So maybe… I am.”

Wow – I was looking for something unique and just “different” and this absolutely fit the bill!

The story was creative and original and honestly was just a total mind fuck that constantly had me questioning each theory I’d come up with.

The book was told from the perspective of a young woman, Adelaide, who was committed to an insane asylum. She didn’t believe she was crazy, but everyone else seemed to think she was. So… who was right?

The story was instantly gripping – the kind that made me curious and desperate to find out more. But the more I found out, the more I wondered. Was she crazy? Was she broken? Was everything that I was reading imagined? Or did it really happen? Where was the line between illusion and reality?

As to whether this book is a romance, I’d say yes. Technically. Ish. Kinda? It wasn’t your typical romance to be sure. There was sex and some hotness but I don’t want to say TOO much about it for fear of spoilers. I do think though that over the course of the whole trilogy it’ll be really really interesting to see where the author takes that part of the story. But the romance is a key part of the story. I just don’t want to give away too many details because honestly, they’ll just lead to spoilers.

The story was told in a mixture of both “before” and “after” she is committed. In the “before”, you saw her abusive home life and the build up of what led her to where she was now. And the more you saw the pieces of her “before”, you couldn’t help but wonder… what the hell happened to her?

Even in the way Adelaide talked, I could sense that something just wasn’t quite right with her. Or was I just looking for it because I was expecting it? I love books that make me question everything. That make me search for answers and where everything is not just black and white. There was just this constant feeling throughout the whole book of reality being JUST beyond my grasp.

The book was very well written. I enjoyed both the writing style and the pacing as well as the back-and-forth between the past and present story lines. I think I felt a tiny bit disconnected simply because I felt like I didn’t have even one solid piece of reality to hold on to because EVERYTHING was in question, but at the same time, that really set the exact right tone for the story.

It was also fairly short (not a novella though) and could easily be read in a few hours.

There was a huge twist near the end. I suspected it about half way through the story but honestly was just really happy to be proven right because it was almost a bit of “proof” that despite the book being a mind fuck, I had still retained my sanity 😉

The ending is a cliffhanger and I definitely want to read the other books in this series. I feel quite invested in the story and can’t wait to see where the author is going to take it.

I wanted something “outside the box” and this book most certainly delivered!

Here’s a small teaser that might help you decide if you want to give this book a shot:

There’s a ringing in my ears that I can’t shut out. There’s a hand on my wrist that doesn’t let go. Before exhaustion takes over I look up. Blue eyes is at the end of the bed. He releases my wrist and laces his fingers through mine. I squint as the sedative blurs my vision, begins to decapitate my mind, and then notice the painful look in those blue blue eyes.

On top of the pain in the two blue gems there’s familiarity.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

How could I forget him? Him, of all people. The one person in the entire world who holds the key to my heart. The one and only person who has ever really loved me. Then I remind myself that they feed and inject me with so many drugs, that its a miracle I don’t forget who I am.

I struggle to sound coherent, “Damien?”

He mouths something.

Six words.

Six words that seem too impossible to be true.

Six words that bleed hope into my soul.

Six words.

“You’re not crazy. I love you.”

4 – 4.5 stars.

READING ORDER for THE ASYLUM TRILOGY (click links to buy books):

Insanity (Asylum #1)
White Walls (Asylum #2)
Beautiful Nightmares (Asylum #3)

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