2.5 stars
I tried to love this book, I really did. I wanted to, but… there was just too much standing in my way.
On the surface, it’s actually a sweet story of friends who wished they were more but never found the courage to do anything about it. But what that led to just frustrated me to no end. I guess it was because all the problems in this book stemmed from the direct actions of hero/heroine. There were no external factors to blame and so it made me end up resenting them for creating so much drama for themselves when a few words or an honest conversation could have easily resolved everything.
The book is about Julia and Ryan who had been best friends throughout college. And while they both felt much more than just friendship for each other, neither of them ever (in all the years) did anything about it, or told the other person. They were each too afraid to rock the boat and damage the relationship they already had. But now, with only a few short months before graduation, everything is becoming harder as the prospect of moving to opposite ends of the country to pursue their respective careers becomes closer to reality.
“One topic we avoided was out feelings for each other. It hung over us like an unspoken storm, but I was enjoying the day and didn’t want to ruin it by forcing the topic, even though I ached to tell her I was in love with her.”
I guess what I didn’t understand was why/how for more than three years, if they felt a certain way, that they hadn’t acted on it or spoken about it. Three years is a loooooong time. And now they were just going to let each other go? Just like that? I didn’t get it. I couldn’t relate or understand it.
Personally, I think that if the feeling is strong enough, you should go to any lengths to preserve that relationship. And I’m not just speaking randomly here, my personal life had me in a situation nearly identical to Ryan and Julia’s and we chose differently (at the same age they were). I tried to understand their perspective, but just couldn’t agree with their decisions.
In all honesty though, it was Julia who bothered me the most because Ryan actually tried several times to get her to talk, admit feelings, get a job closer to him (he was accepted to Harvard so not exactly something that was easy to transfer away from), but each time she met him with reluctance, or just flat out chose her job over him. This went on for a good portion of the book. I felt like she was constantly choosing her career over him, which was fine, technically, but then the story just became about two people who put their careers above their relationship and that wasn’t something I wanted to read about.
The book also has frequent and disorienting time jumps that were both random and not clearly marked. Between one chapter and the next, it would jump anywhere from one minute, to one hour to several weeks, months or years. I could follow along but I found that it just felt like I was missing all these important events that were then just referred back to in passing.
I mean, yes, their situation sucked and I felt bad for them, but at the same time, they’d created their own personal hell, you know? It wasn’t external circumstances keeping them apart all these years, it was them. They spent 4 years right in front of each other too scared to make a move, then they each chose jobs on opposite ends of the country away from each other. I found it hard to feel for their pain when every single one of the problems stemmed from their own decisions.
It also got extremely repetitive once they started to work things out with variations of “I love you”, “you are my everything”, “I need you to breathe”, “I can’t bear to be without you” etc etc (those are not direct quotes, just representations). At first I liked it, but as the book went on, I found myself skimming pages because I just felt like I was essentially reading the same scene over and over again.
Also, there was a scene in the middle relating to Julia’s work which was simply not something that would ever happen in real life and it bothered me because of how unrealistic it was.
And then at the end (no spoilers), Julia made a decision which made me just want to throw my Kindle at the wall (I really thought we were past that kind of stupidity) and then something (external) happened which led to a huge cliffhanger that took the story down a path that I’m just honestly not interested in pursuing.
Here’s the thing though… I can see why people would like it. It wasn’t the writing style that I had issue with, it was the story line. Kahlen Aymes is a good author and I would definitely try another of her books if she decides to write a different story. And, if the kind of thing I described above isn’t something that bothers you, then you might actually end up really liking the book. I guess you could call it a personal pet peeve of mine. And technically, the stuff that I found repetitive WAS actually swoony so, again, I could very easily see how a reader would love this story.
Ryan was absolutely head-over-heels crazy for Julia and I did like his character and how he kept trying to make things work. It was more a question of Julia always holding back for most of the book which really was something out of his control.
I feel bad saying this but in all honestly, this book was just not for me.
2.5 stars
