“Why do you love me so much…?”
He smiled down at her.
“Because I met you.”
WHAT. A. BOOK!!!
First before anything…. I have to say: #TeamSøren
Omg, so completely, utterly, and irrevocably #TeamSøren.
(Lol, apparently I’m a switch. Hehe. Get it? 😉 )
Gah. My poor heart!!! But just… #TEAMSOREN
ALL. THE. WAY!!!!
My feels have been toyed with, my mind has been fucked with, my emotions are now so tangled up that I went from being a 100% solid #TeamWesley gal, to being so completely on #TeamSøren that it’s hard for me to accept that I was ever not on his team. I honestly didn’t believe this would happen. I kept seeing everyone all in love with Søren while I was just eyeing his warily but NOW I GET IT!!! I really do!!
Please be sure to read the first 3 books in the series (or at least my reviews of them) before reading this because… this book isn’t a standalone and I think you should have least the tiniest bit of context. So first check out The Siren (my review), The Angel (my review), and The Prince (my review), m’kay?
OK. On to the review.
First things first: THE. WRITING. IS. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!! Literally some of the best I’ve ever read.
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.
Just absolutely fucking amazing!
The story is the most boundary-pushing one I’ve ever read. You have to understand that I went into this series completely blind (by choice). And by that, I mean that I literally did not know anything!!! I didn’t even read the blurbs. Usually when I read a book, I know who ends up with who and the general direction of the storyline (I’m not a fan of surprises) but with this series, because it was already so far outside the box, I decided to just accept whatever it dished out and try to remain as open minded as possible.
So this book starts off right after the giant freaking heart-stopping cliffhanger that the previous book left us on that threw the world around Nora into full-out crisis mode. It was so powerful to see the way all these characters that we’d gotten to know over the course of the series come together in this desperate time to work together to help Nora. ALL THE FEELS, I tell you. All the feels.
I’m not going to go into detail on what this crisis is that they’re facing but just trust me that it’s about as dire, dangerous, and deadly as you can imagine. Everyone’s worst nightmare coming to pass.
I started this book rooting for Nora and Wes (as I had been feeling at the end of the previous book), but I have to say that that little part of me that had started warming up to Søren in The Prince was beginning to grow with every page I read. There was just no denying that Nora and Søren had this kind of soulmate forever-til-the-day-I-die love for each other. But my heart still broke for Kingsley and his unrequited love for Søren. What a heart breaking emotional tangle it was.
There was such a intricate web of characters, all bound together by some degree of sexual separation (which alone is fascinating if you think about it), but also bound together by varying and differing measures of the deepest love you can imagine. This is the first time ever that a series has presented and used the concept of people genuinely being in love with (and I mean romantically) more than one person in a way that I not only accepted, but also began to believe and understand.
Oddly enough, some of my favorite scenes in the whole book were Søren’s chats with Grace. Grace is the wife of Nora’s editor and one of Nora’s few female friends it seemed so she was there to help as best she could. The thing is that everyone, other than Nora and Kingsley, was in some way or another terrified of Søren… so I feel like that naturally meant that it was harder to get to know him as a character. But Grace has this kind of calmness to her that just allowed Søren to be himself around her. I almost feel like the way she was around him turned him into a real person if that makes sense. He never treated her with the dominance of the Underground world because she wasn’t a part of that, he never had reason to intimidate her because she posed no threat, he didn’t have to cause her pain or humiliation because he wasn’t trying to sleep with her, she was happily married so there wasn’t really any sexual awkwardness between them… and with the thing he held dearest to him in dire jeopardy, he already had everything on the line and she was trustworthy so he genuinely had no reason to hide, there was just no real reason for his walls to be up. So we got to see him. It was the purest form of him as a person that I feel that we’d ever seen so far in the series. No masks or pretences or games. And I loved it. If I had to pin-point the moment that I joined #TeamSøren, that was it. That’s when I fell for him, and when I most truly understood his love for Nora.
At first I hated myself for moving to #TeamSøren. I felt all kinds of weird guilt. Like I was betraying my own emotions. Ohhh, my poor mind was so thoroughly fucked with. No, it wasn’t even a mind fuck, it was an emotion fuck. A total feel-tangle. Up became down, everything I thought I felt went right out the window and was replaced with this overpowering knowledge that Søren and Nora belonged together.
I feel like I want to go back to my previous reviews and erase everything and just replace it with #TeamSøren #TeamSøren #TeamSøren #TeamSøren #TeamSøren but… that wouldn’t be honest. The truth is that reading this series was a journey of discovery. Along the way, I felt different things based on what I knew, what I thought I knew, and the things I thought I wanted for these characters.
I think I get it though… these characters have so many layers to their histories that as you’re reading the series, you can only form opinions on what you know. And up until this point, what I knew led me to be #TeamWesley… but after learning everything that this book showed me, there left no doubt in my mind — not even a little — that #TeamSøren was the only team.
I feel like I’ve definitely come away from this series with a much deeper understanding and respect for the psychology behind BDSM. I mean, I understood it mechanically and very basically from other books I’d read prior to this… but this series opened my eyes to it in a much different way. For these characters, it wasn’t just a game, it was a lifestyle. I just feel like I really understood where they were coming from and what fuelled their desires so much more.
And OMG. The way the story built up to the climax was so intense!! My heart was racing!! There were a few moment that I even broke right down crying with the sheer beauty of it. I took deep calming breaths. Even took a tiny break but only a little one because I just COULD NOT STOP READING!!!!
Gahhhhh!! Them in that corner at the end. Just wow. There’s just no choice there. No teams. Just them.
Ok now at this point in my review, I’ve covered the book up until the 85% mark. In the book, this is the conclusion to a big “section” of the book. It has a resolved ending and truly if I had stopped reading at this point, my rating would be a very easy 5+++++ STARS!!!!!!
But the book went on… and honestly, I had several strong issues with a lot of the things that happened after this point so I feel like I need to separate the book’s rating up into 3 parts.
0 – 85% in the book: 5+++ STARS
85 – 98% in the book: 3 stars
98 – 100% in the book: I’m just going to pretend this didn’t happen
Ok, there are HUGE SPOILERS in this next part of the review, so I’ve hidden them. You have to click to open them. If you have not yet read this book, I do not recommend you read them. I’ve written them more for the other people who have already read these books because I kinda just needed to get my feelings out. If you have not read this book or series yet, I still highly recommend that you DO try it. Enjoy the first 3 books and the first 85% of this one with all your hearts, and take the rest of it with an optional grain of salt, but don’t allow my feelings on it to stop you from reading this book because it truly is AMAZING!
Ok here goes… click the spoiler below to read more…
Show spoiler
I’d like to point out that it wasn’t so much that I “didn’t like” what happened in this part of the book, but more that I felt that the things that happened were complete “out of character” for Søren and Wesley respectively. I genuinely do not believe that either of them would do the things they did in this part of the book, and I have to say that that was what bothered me (more than the actions themselves).
LAST WARNING: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!
Wesley first. Ok, to sum it up, I don’t find it all that believable that he would have moved on from Nora that fast. I just don’t. I think that the path he went down was probably a really good one for his character and I could really see it being a good thing for both of them, but it just felt abrupt to me. Too sudden, too soon. Just… the whole thing felt really off to me.
Now Soren. And this is really where the bigger part of my issues lay…
After three and a half 450-page books of getting to know Søren’s character, I can tell you that in my opinion, the character I’ve come to know would never, ever, EVER have done this action. He’s not only more noble than that, he’s way the hell smarter than that.
It’s very important to distinguish here that there have been many scenes (like the blood-play scene) that I didn’t like and that made me uncomfortable, but that I accepted openly because they made sense and were a believable part of Søren’s character. The reason I didn’t like THIS scene was because it DID NOT make sense and was not at all a believable action for him to have done.
HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD. Seriously, if you haven’t read this book, I don’t care how curious you are, PLEASE DON’T READ THIS. Trust me. Ok?
So, we all know Nora and Søren have an open relationship — admittedly, that idea took me a while to warm up to but I’ve genuinely come to respect and understand it. The one thing though that has been repeated over and over again in the course of the series is that Søren has only ever willingly shared his body with TWO people: Nora and Kingsley (I’m discounting Elizabeth), despite so many countless opportunities thrown at him. Yes, he has other women who sub for him, but that is to satisfy his need for sadism. He doesn’t actually ever have sex with them. There’s a separation there. And I’ve come to respect it. So I get why he’d have Grace sub for him (heck, Nora even set it up) so that I could deal with (even though it felt weird to me because the thing I loved most about Grace and Søren’s relationship in this book was that it was almost just a real friendship without sexual interferance, but whatever — ‘be openminded’ has been my mantra with these books). It felt off to me, but I tried to accept it. But then HE ACTUALLY HAS SEX WITH HER TOO. What? What? Whaaaaaaaaat??!??!?! The fuck?! He’s old enough that he’s had the chance to sleep with countless women and he never did, but then he actually has SEX? With her?? HUH?? Why?? Who is this guy and where did the Soren I’ve come to know go?? I just… *shakes head* … I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t believe it. But FINE. Jeez. Whatever. “Be openminded”. I tried, I really tried.
Then we got to the final page and THAT REVEAL?!?! Just no. No. No. No. No. NO. Hell to the fucking NO. I’m sorry, but for so many reasons I just DO NOT believe that he would have EVER allowed that to happen. He’s too smart to have had it been an accident. And he cares too much for Nora to have done it without consulting with her first. So just no. I completely reject this part of the story. It was so out of character that I don’t believe it happened. This was a harder limit for me than the darkest, kinkiest, most controversial or shocking thing you could ever imagine. I can’t accept it. #TeamDenial here.
For me, The Mistress ended wonderfully at 85%. I’m still counting it as one of my top favorite books because holy God, it was BRILLIANTLY done. If for some reason you haven’t yet read this book but still chose to read the spoiler (which I hope to hell you didn’t!!!), PLEASE don’t let this deter you from reading the book because if you do, you’ll be missing out on a seriously epic read!!
I hope you can believe me when I say that I really did love the book.
Lol, I’m just completely rejecting this one part of it.
I still love Søren. I still love Wesley. I still love Nora. And Kingsley. And everyone! Ok?
Regardless of anything in that spoiler though, the fantastic thing is that 0 — 85% of this book is a whole, solid story (it even ends in such a way and is long enough that you could argue that it feels like a complete book) so I would still whole-heartedly recommend this series as a TOP FAVORITE!!!
This series really makes you think. It’s thrilling, erotic, and this book had the ultimate emotional mindfuck. This is one of those books you just can’t put down. I hung on to each word, drinking in every new secret and revelation. I was in awe of how this author wove so many intersecting storylines together and kept me on the edge of my seat always desperate to turn the next page the whole way through.
The Mistress wraps up The Red Years part of this series. The next four books are called The White Years and they essentially are prequels to The Red Years even though they should be read after. Right now, I’m going to take a little reading break from this series (possibly even waiting until the final book is out in November) and then I’ll likely binge-read the last four books together the same as I did with these first four. But I will be back. FOR SURE!!! I love these characters, I love the writing, I love the series, and I absolutely recommend them for anyone who wants something fantastically well written, intensely erotic, and that doesn’t play by any of the rules. But rather, it makes it’s own… and it comes out on top.
*** SERIES READING ORDER ***
Click the titles or covers to purchase.
*** FAVORITE QUOTES ***
Note: I “hid” these in a spoiler tag but they’re not really spoilers. I only hid them because there are a lot and I thought it would be annoying to just have them out there. It would be best if you read the first two books first I think, but there’s nothing in here that’s overly revealing. It’s about as safe as quotes from a fourth book in a series can be. Take a look if you want 🙂
Show spoiler
“And you’ll go to all this trouble for me… why?”
“Because there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you, Eleanor. Nothing I wouldn’t do to help you. And nothing I wouldn’t do to save you. Nothing.”
_____________________
“My Kingsley…” The voice sighed and Kingsley heard frustration mixed with amusement. Amusement or something like it. “Forgive me for saying this, but I think it’s time you find a new hobby.”
_____________________
“If anyone hurts Nora, you will have to stand in line for your retribution.”
_____________________
Say what one would about Nora Sutherlin, but the woman was a survivor, strong and resilient… She’d been born strong and iron and sharpened iron. Submitting to a sadist had made her unbreakable. Becoming a Dominatrix had made her vicious. She’d even broken him a time or two. But that was all play.
_____________________
“Does Soren know anything?”
“Soren knows more than you and I combined. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know where she is, either.”
_____________________
“A priest… really?”
“My priest. He’s been my priest since I was fifteen years old. I hope you’re scandalized. It’s no fun if you’re not scandalized.”
“Thoroughly scandalized. Is he handsome?”
“Is the pope Catholic?”
_____________________
A world without Nora Sutherland was a world without Soren. If the priest lost his Little One, especially if her death happened because of something Soren had done, no matter how inadvertently, it would mean his destruction. Soren couldn’t live in a world without Nora. Kingsley wouldn’t live in a world without Soren. Her death would be the sinking of a great ship. She would take them all down with her.
_____________________
“I know you love him. I know he loves you, too.”
“He loves me? From your lips to God’s ears. He loves only her.”
“You forget we love more than one person. You do, she does, he does… I do.”
_____________________
“I assure you it’s true. I learned long ago that it was for the best that I erect a very high wall between myself and the rest of the world. She and Kingsley are the only two people I’ve ever met who simply ignored that wall as if it didn’t exist.”
_____________________
“And then what?” Wes asked.
“I get her out,” Kingsley said.
“You get her out?” Wes turned to Kingsley. “You and what army?”
“I don’t need an army.”
“What? Are you the French James Bond or something?”
“Of course not. James Bond is vanilla.”
_____________________
Money bought nothing in Kingsley’s world but a key to the front door. Once inside, they built their own kingdoms. Dominants with boring day jobs earned respect with the power they created out of their own dignity and desires. Exquisite submissive — male and female — who laid themselves out on the altar of sacrifice and sexuality in order to find themselves at someone else’s feet. Wesley always accused the people of her world of putting on costumes and playing dress-up. He had no idea that the suits and the ties and the beige pumps and navy slacks her people wore during the day were the real costumes that they shed when they came out after dark.
_____________________
“She wants you for breakfast.”
“Is she a cannibal, too?”
_____________________
“I knelt at his feet because I felt that’s where I belonged. And no, not because I was so unworthy of him, but because he was so utterly worthy of my devotion.”
_____________________
“You only get more arrogant with age. Aren’t priests supposed to be humble?”
“We’re also supposed to be celibate.” Soren smiled.
_____________________
“Eleanor is convinced I make God nervous and that He’s more likely to take my calls than hers, as she says.”
_____________________
“You love Kingsley?”
“I do. Does that shock you?”
“Not at all. He reminds me of Nora. Arrogant, cocky, dangerous, beautiful.”
“Those two — they’ve twin spirits, although they’d deny it with their last breath.”
_____________________
“You don’t touch him because you love him.”
_____________________
“You can’t imagine how hard it is to be a sadist with a conscience,” Nora continued. “Soren worries if he’s with Kingsley he’ll hurt Kingsley. He worries that if he’s with Kingsley he’ll hurt me.”
_____________________
“I don’t care what I am. I never have. It’s everyone else who cares. Not me. I don’t care if I’m his mistress or his wife. I only wanted Soren. People tell me to get married, settle down, have kids. Fuck them. They don’t know me. You know who never told me how to live my life? Soren. He asked me to obey him, not to change for him.”
_____________________
“It’s good to see you again, Little One. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. God, I missed you so much. You shouldn’t have come.”
“I had to.”
_____________________
“Goddammit,” she said, resting her forehead briefly against the centre of his chest before looking up at him. “Why do you love me so much, you stupid man?”
He smiled down at her.
“Because I met you.”
_____________________
“Love versus love. You’re comparing infinite. There is no ‘more’. That’s not how love works. If it’s love, it’s infinite. You can’t count it.”
_____________________
