“For one night, I want to pretend like it’s me you’re promised to,” his thumb ran over my lips. “Mine to care for and adore. Say yes to ME. Even if it is only for tonight. Please?”
FUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!! Yes, I’m swearing. I need to. This book put my heart through the wringer. I hated it. I loved it. I hated that I loved it. But I just felt so much for it!!! Bottom line: If you want pure, heart-wrenching, addictive ANGST, then throw your judgments out the window and read this book!!!
I’m going to be honest, this was everything I hate reading about wrapped up in a book I didn’t want to stop reading. Ok. That’s a lie. I did stop. I actually started it a few days ago because OMG that blurb is amazing (see below), got to 15%, started feeling worried, so I went digging and found out what happened later in the book, freaked the HELL OUT, threw the book down and promised myself I’d never ever finish reading it… Six days later, I was STILL thinking about it in the back of my mind, so I picked it up again, wanting to read it JUST for my personal curiosity. But I couldn’t put it down this time and DAMMIT I KINDA LOVED IT. Even though I hated it. Gah. I don’t know what to think. Just read it. If you’re feeling brave… and want your heart shredded. But there’s a bit of hope given at the end. Yes, there’s cheating (a helluva lot of it). Yes, there’s a cliffhanger (their story is far from over). Yes, those are both the kinds of things that send me running for the hills. And yes, I still loved (hate-loved) the book.
Emotionally, I would compare this book to Thoughtless. It is a different story, but puts your heart through the same kind of gut-wrenching angsty pain and also makes you experience similar frustrations. I think it’s safe to say that if you didn’t like Thoughtless, then this isn’t the book for you.
I want to explain the thing it was that made me go back to the book (other than just curiosity)… I think the “big issue” most people have with this story is with the heroine and with her inability to make the right choice and commit to being with the hero. And I feel like it took me a while to let that turn over in my mind but I came to a point where I kind of tried to stop judging her actions because I couldn’t change them and just tried to understand where she was coming from. Here’s the thing… She’d been with her boyfriend for years. They might not have had fairy tale love, but she did love him. He was a guaranteed, secure future. And throwing that all away for someone new who she didn’t know at all, who lived out of a suitcase, and who offered her an uncertain future would be a really terrifying situation for certain types of people. I’m not saying I agree with what she did, cuz I don’t. I think she took it too far. Way too far. But what I’m saying is that I got where she was coming from even though I hated her initial choices.
I think the whole point of her part of the story is a message about how, if you’re afraid to take a chance, that fear can actually destroy everything you’re working so hard to hold on to.
Casey was absolutely AMAZING. I promise you’ll fall in love with him (no matter how you feel about the story). He was just this totally swoon-worthy, wonderful guy who fell in love with a girl who was promised to someone else. It was totally heart-wrenching seeing just how much he loved her. And just how patient he was willing to be, and how much he was willing to sacrifice, along the road to making her his.
“She’d go back the next day and probably try to forget me. Probably try to forget we met at all. Well, fuck that. If I had anything to say about it, she wouldn’t ever forget me.”
Regardless of my rationalization, it fucking HURT to see two people who you knew in your heart belonged together … not be together. It was painful. I hated it. Even though I loved it. I just couldn’t stop caring. It even made me cry — for some reason that damn line about the shed did me in. Boom. Tears!!
Ok, now about that cliffhanger… I’m going to be honest, I hear the word “cliffhanger” and it sets me running. But I wouldn’t personally say that the cliffhanger was the most brutal part of the story. It actually kinda gave hope in a way even though there’s still so much more to their story to tell. I’ll be honest, it didn’t make me mad. As far as “stopping” points for trilogy books go, this one made sense to me. And I’m still really glad I read the book now even though I’m desperately looking forward to the next one.
I know that for some of you, this is a really scary book to consider reading — it has a lot of “hard limits” in it — so for you guys, I’ve created a full plot explanation with spoilers. If you want to see that, click here.
My advice: If you’re going to read this, don’t try to judge it. This is a story about flawed, imperfect characters who make mistakes and often make the wrong choice. But this is also a story about two people who you just know are meant to be together and have such a strong love for each other that it makes it really hard not to care for them and root for them to find a way to be together. The trick is getting to a point where you accept that shit is going to happen, and you can’t stop it, and accepting that you love the characters and story enough to just go on this crazy ride with them — wherever that may lead.
So, like I said, if you want pure, heart-wrenching, addictive ANGST, then throw your judgments out the window and read this book!!!
Rating: 4.5 stars (hate-love stars)
Click covers to purchase. Read in order.