5 stars

Reading Order: UP IN THE AIR series by RK Lilley

May 4, 2013 by Aestas · 4 Comments

I’ve had a lot of people asking me for recommendations for books with heroes similar to Christian and Gideon – you know, powerful, controlling, dominant, gorgeous, and yet totally in love with their girl and I can promise you that if you are a fan of the Fifty Shades and Crossfire series, then you will LOVE these books!

Highly, highly recommended!!

Everyone should meet and fall in love with James Cavendish ♥

** SERIES READING ORDER **

Note: These 3 books tell a completed story.

Book #1: IN FLIGHT
Buy on Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My review

Book #2: MILE HIGH
Buy on Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My review

Book #3: GROUNDED
Buy on Kindle | Buy in Paperback | My review

Reading Order: ROCK CHICK SERIES by KRISTEN ASHLEY

May 4, 2013 by Aestas · 12 Comments

If you haven’t read one of Kristen Ashley’s series yet, you are seriously missing out on one of the pure joys of life. I really mean that. With all my heart.

This completed series is full of pure awesome – there are kidnappings galore, car chases, steamy bedroom scenes, swoony moments, outright hilarious moments, shoot-outs, explosions, a seriously epic food-fight, rock concerts, ALPHA heroes, insanely fun heroines, which of course lead to eight wonderful love stories.

I cannot possibly gush enough. Each book had me flipping pages like mad, grinning endlessly and laughing and squeeing out-loud more times than I could count! HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!

Each book focuses on a different couple and has a happy ending (some with epilogues) – NO cliffhangers!!!

Oh, and they should be read in order! No skipping! Trust me 😉

Here’s the full reading order and purchase links:

Rock Chick (My Review)
Rock Chick Rescue (My Review)
Rock Chick Redemption (My Review)
Rock Chick Renegade (My Review)
Rock Chick Revenge (My Review)
Rock Chick Reckoning (My Review)
Rock Chick Regret (My Review)
Rock Chick Revolution (My Review)

♥♥♥

1. Rock Chick by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Indy Savage, cop’s daughter, rock chick and used bookstore owner, has been in love with Lee Nightingale, once bad boy, now the man behind Nightingale Investigations, since she was five years old. No matter what ingenious schemes Indy used to capture his attention, Lee never showed an interest and Indy finally gave up. Now Indy’s employee, Rosie, has lost a bag of diamonds and bad guys are shooting at him. When Indy gets involved, Lee is forced to help. Complicting matters, Lee has decided he’s interested, Indy’s decided she’s not. But she can’t seem to keep Lee out of her life when she’s repeatedly stun gunned, kidnapped and there are car bombs exploding (not to mention she’s finding dead bodies).

Indy’s best bet is to solve the mystery of the diamonds before Lee. Lee’s challenge is to keep Indy alive and, at the same time, win back her heart.

“Jesus,” he buried his face in my neck. “There’s nothin’ better in the world than hearing you say my name when I’m inside you.” He slid in deeper, filling me. “I’ve been waiting years to be right here.”

2. Rock Chick Rescue by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Jet McAlister has a secret. Eddie Chavez has the hots for Jet (not to mention Eddie’s just plain hot). Jet has too many problems to realize that Eddie’s interested. Eddie loses patience when Jet ends her waitressing shift at a strip club with a knife at her throat. Since Eddie’s a cop, he figures he can help. Since Jet’s used to solving everyone’s problems she doesn’t want Eddie’s help.

Throw in a Dolly Parton look-alike, a gruff but lovable strip club owner, Jet’s ne’er do well father, his ne’er do well friend, Bear, Bear’s long-suffering, chain-smoking wife Lavonne and the crew from Rock Chick and you’ve got Rock Chick Rescue.

Rock Chick Rescue takes you on a wild ride with Jet, Eddie and the gang as they wrestle bad guys in a bagel shop, hit Denver’s backstreet poker tables (with big hair), and help the strippers at Smithie’s take down a would-be murderer.

Through this, Jet’s got to learn that even when life made you give up your dreams, you can still end up with the (hot) guy. Eddie’s got to rescue Jet from a bad man (so he can do better things with her) and teach her that some dreams can come true.

“Holy crap,” I whispered.
It was like the Justice League of Super Heroes but instead it was the Justice League of Hot Guys.”

3. Rock Chick Redemption by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Roxie’s on the run from a bad boyfriend who will not catch the hint that it is o-v-e-r. She’s in no mood for love at first sight, but when her eyes fall on Hank, it’s trouble from the get-go. Roxie tries to hold Hank at arms length but Hank wants to be a closer (as in, a lot closer). Roxie’s trouble catches up with her and Hank wants to help but Roxie knows in her heart that she’s no good for a white hat guy. The problem is no one agrees with her, especially her crazy hippie best friend Annette or her parents; the even crazier small-Indiana-town Herb and Trish. Toss into the mix the gang from Rock Chick and Rock Chick Rescue and Roxie finds herself totally outnumbered.

Climb in for another Rock Chick wild ride through Rock Chick Redemption. As the odds stack up against Roxie, she has no choice but to hold on and just ride it out through the kidnappings, car chases, society parties, a riot at the strip club, Hank getting “Mom Bombed” and one crazy night at the Haunted House.

During all this Hank works at convincing her she really wants to stay and he, along with the Hot Bunch, go all out to make her safe. Hank also needs to work on showing Roxie that her past decisions don’t mean her future can’t include something as downright delicious as… normal.

“It looked like GQ was having a convention and all the best looking guys had decided to have coffee at Fortnum’s before going to seminars on how to cope with being really, unbelievably, fucking gorgeous.”

“This is crazy. You’re crazy. Denver’s crazy. All you boys skipped right over the last century, didn’t you? I think even the last million years. You’re cavemen.”

4. Rock Chick Renegade by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Jules has got a score to settle against the drug dealers of Denver. Vance has made it his mission that Jules won’t get dead while dishing out vigilante justice. Jules doesn’t have time for romance, she’s too busy saving the world and she enlists Zip (the gunstore owner), Heavy (an ex-PI) and Frank (a mysterious recluse) to help.

The Rock Chicks of Fortnum’s Bookstore get involved to provide romantic advice and guidance, none of which Jules accepts at first. The Hot Bunch of Nightingale Investigations adopt Jules as one of their own. Even though Jules tries to hang on to her inner Head Crackin’ Mamma Jamma, the Rock Chicks; Hot Bunch; Jules’s long-suffering Uncle Nick; Jules’s friend the rotund, African-American, Jackie-O wannabe, May; and especially Vance will stop at nothing to wear her down.

But Jules makes some bad guys pretty angry and one is dedicated to taking her out. Vance and the Hot Bunch have to pull out all the stops to keep her alive. At the same time, Jules and Vance learn the true meaning of home but once they find this precious entity they’ve been searching for all their lives, will Jules’s enemies tear it away?

“No matter what,” he said, his voice fierce and strong and rumbling through me. “You told me I was home to you and I get it. You’re home to me. I’ve never had a home. I like the one I found and I’m not losin’ it. No matter what.”

“I want you. I want to taste you. I want to f*ck you. I want to make you come and I want to hear you moan my name when you do so I know that you know it’s me who made you come.”

5. Rock Chick Revenge by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Ava hates men, she has reason and she’s vowed not only never to get involved with another one again but also to exact vengeance on her best friend’s, lying, cheating husband. Since Luke, Ava’s childhood crush, is now a private investigator, she thinks to enlist him but changes her mind at the last second.

Too late, Luke knows she’s up to something and he’s already seen many a Rock Chick try to fight her own battles without the Hot Bunch stepping in. He’s having none of it. She’s having none of him. The clash of the Rock Chick and Hot Guy begins but Luke’s got the advantage. He has handcuffs and he’s not afraid to use them.

“I’m not lettin’ you go. I’m not lettin’ you push me away and I’m not giving up. I’m gonna keep working until I piece together what [they] stole from you. I’m gonna keep at you until you let me in. I’m not gonna stop until you tell me you’re mine, until it comes straight from your mouth, preferably when I’m deep inside you and you’re lookin’ at me like you look at me when I’m close to makin’ you come.”

“He isn’t my man.”
“Girl, it dont matter you don’t think he is, he thinks he is. Therefore in Badass Motherfucker Land, that means he is.”

“Swear to God, these boys should be locked up. It isn’t safe, men with that much testosterone coursing through their blood free to roam.”

6. Rock Chick Reckoning by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Stella’s the lead singer and lead guitarist of The Blue Moon Gypsies and Stella used to be Mace’s girl. Mace broke up with her, though, and the loss of him rocked her world. But Stella gets a call, late at night (again) from one of the members of her crazy band. She has to go play clean up (again) and runs into Mace and a shed load of police, and ends up getting shot.

Mace finds he doesn’t like it much that his ex-girlfriend got shot right in front of him but it’s worse. A very bad man has thrown down the gauntlet and all the Rock Chicks are in the firing line. Stella doesn’t want Mace to be the one to keep her alive, but she has no choice. Mainly because Mace isn’t giving her one.

“I fucked up and hurt you. It won’t happen again.” His fingers tensed around my head and his deep voice dropped low. “I promise you, Kitten, it won’t happen again.”

“What I’m sayin’ is shit happens to couples, In any relationship, there’s ebbs and there’s flows. You want that relationship to work you put on your life jacket and ride it out.”

7. Rock Chick Regret by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Sadie Townsend is known by all as The Ice Princess and she’s worked hard to earn her reputation. Her father, a now-incarcerated Drug Lord, has kept her under his thumb her whole life and she’s learned enough from living in his world to give everyone the cold shoulder. But one inebriated night, she shows the Real Sadie to the undercover agent she knows is investigating her father, the handsome Hector Chavez, and he knows he’ll stop at nothing to have her.

Hector makes one (huge) mistake; he waits for Sadie to come to him. Tragedy strikes and Sadie’s got a choice, she can retreat behind her Ice Fortress or she can embrace the Rock Chick/Hot Bunch World. Guided by Hector, the Rock Chicks, the Hot Bunch and her new gay roommates, Buddy and Ralphie, Sadie negotiates a life out from under her father’s thumb, a life that includes poison, arson and learning how to make s’mores.

“I want you in my bed, I want you in my house, I wanna come home to you.”

“Lee recruited men who, it turned out, had a strong ethic about women and how to treat them and an even stronger ethic about how they felt about men who didn’t treat them right. This wasn’t on the job application but, bottom line, it was the only kind of man Lee would have in his employ.”

“You okay?” he asked.
“No,” I answered…
Then… He promised, “You will be.”

#8. Rock Chick Revolution by Kristen Ashley (My Review)

Ally Nightingale has secrets. Secrets she doesn’t even share with the Rock Chicks. But two men know what she’s up to. One has her back. The other has her heart, but he doesn’t know it.

As Ally rewinds the last year of her life, she knows two things. One, she’s never going to get what every Rock Chick should have—her own Hot Bunch guy. And two, she’s a Nightingale through and through. She just isn’t sure what to do about that.

But as her secrets are revealed, the men in her life react. Darius Tucker, a lifelong friend, as usual takes her back. Ren Zano, the man she loves, isn’t quite so sure. The Rock Chicks, Hot Bunch and the entire gang at Fortnum’s weigh in, and a Rock Chick Revolution starts brewing.

It’s up to Ally to control it and prove what she knows down to her bones.

She’s a Rock Chick, she deserves her hot guy and she’s going to keep the one she wants…

Because she’s a Nightingale.

Book Review – Vain by Fisher Amelie

April 15, 2013 by Aestas · 38 Comments

Buy VAIN (Kindle)
Buy VAIN (Paperback)

5 STARS!

STRUCK. SPEECHLESS.

Seriously one of the best books I’ve read in a while!

This book took me on a beautiful journey. It moved me, took my breath away and kept me up all night. It was a well-written, powerful, and deeply moving YA story that absolutely broke the mold and was unlike anything I’d ever read. It blew me away! READ IT!

This is not your typical romance novel where girl meets boy and they just fall in love. Yes, this book has a beautiful love story, but its also about so. much. more.

Its about learning the true value of life, about the price of ignorance, the weight of a self-less action, and the beauty of love.

This was one of those wonderful books that came to my attention very suddenly about 2 weeks ago. Literally, my inbox was full of glowing recommendations for it and I just knew that I had to drop everything and read it. Best decision I ever made!! Something about the idea of it just made my heart race. I swear I had butterflies even before I started reading.

It literally kept me up reading until 5:00 AM. I kept telling myself I was going to put it down and finish it the next day but I could. not. stop. turning. the. pages.

Hmmm, so what’s it about? Its about Sophie Price.

Sophie Price is vain. She is spoiled, filthy rich, with work obsessed parents who care only about the ‘appearance’ of a healthy family. She is hurt and angry on the inside. She uses, manipulates and discards friends, boys, everyone. She takes drugs, parties hard, and finds that she just can’t break out of the mold.

“Freedom is just that. Absolutely no restrictions. I abandoned myself to every whim I felt. Every want I fulfilled and every disire was quenched. I wanted for nothing.

Except attention.”

But everything changes the night her party is crashed by cops and, being on her second drug offence, her father arranges to have her sentenced to six months volunteer work at an orphanage in Uganda.

Scared out of her mind, thrown into a completely opposite life from anything she’s ever known, she is faced with a whole new world that will change her for ever.

The whole book is told through Sophie’s eyes and despite my love for alternating POVs, I found that this worked perfectly for the story. She was a very intriguing character who, despite her flaws and behavior, was not a ditz or shallow or stupid. She had simply taken several of the wrong turns in life and also, despite the wealth and opulence she grew up around, was deeply affected by the lack of familial love in her life. She wasn’t abused or anything. But this book really shows the damage that comes from a simple lack of care and love. It brought a whole new meaning to her vanity. Her looks meant everything to her because it brought her adoration from everyone, which was the closest thing she had ever come to love.

“I stood in front of the mirror and took a good hard look. I was as bare as I could make myself, no make up with wet, stringy hair. I hated to look at myself in this state. I didn’t feel real. I felt too exposed and that made me exceedingly nervous, but I made myself look that morning. I memorized that girl. That girl was the real me. Frightened. Worthless. A terrible friend. Terrible daughter. Well educated but so limited in ideas worth having. Beautiful yet repulsive… And finally honest.”

Fisher Amelie did a phenomenal job of instantly transporting you into Sophie’s life. I was right there with her every page of the book. I smiled, laughed, cried a little, fell in love, and felt her growth every step of the way.

I did love the book from the start, but the story is told in such a way that the more I read, the more strongly I connected to the story. My feelings just grew and grew till it just felt like my heart was going to burst.

Oh, and the guy? Right. Yes, the guy. Ian – or ‘Dingane’ as the kids called him. I literally loved him from his first line. Their first meeting was just SO powerful. I. FELT. It.

“It was like my body knew instantly that he was mine and that I was his.”

He was take-your-breath-away gorgeous. Blunt. Honest. And saw right through her. And the more we learned about his back story too, the more I loved him…. oh, and he cleared the bugs for her!! When you read the scene, I promise it’ll melt your heart a little 😛

About Uganda and the orphanage. *deep breath*. Ok. I am mostly aware what is happening in the world. I read the news. I see the headlines and the pictures. But this was different. So. So. Different. This brought the horrors of what was going on to light in a way I can’t even tell you. My heart broke into a million pieces for those kids. The word “horrors” seems too gentle for what I mean. I don’t think there is a word strong enough 🙁

My heart bled for those beautiful innocent children who had everything but their lives and their spirit so cruelly and heartlessly stolen from them and yet still sang songs every morning, smiled and found the beauty in life.

“And what is there to be joyful about?”… Another burst of silent tears streamed down.

“Life, Sophie. They still live. They breathe, they love each other, they find joy in the world around them for no other reason than because they are children. They are resiliant. They will always rise above. Always.”

I loved watching how Sophie, who had never known real love, grew, changed, and opened every part of heart to these kids and to their cause.

I loved watching her and Ian/Dingane fall in love. Ohhh their chemistry was palatable. It wasn’t a head-over-heels-at-first-sight thing, but it sizzled. I’ve said this before, but I. Felt. It.

“It’ll be all right,” Ian assured me.

“How do you know?” I asked when he revved the engine.

“I don’t,” he said, “but I’ll protect you.”

Their first kiss was seriously one of the best I’ve ever read. I squeed out loud!!!!! The gun lesson *fans self*… and that second last scene! *shivers* Yeah, I loved him. Completely.

I kept alternating between smiling and being near tears. Every part of the story wormed its way into my heart.

In the interest of full openness, I’ll say there were a few typos here and there, one or two moments of plot or dialogue that gave me squinty eyes, and despite there being an epilogue, I maybe might have wanted just a wee bit more at the end. But truly, it made no difference. The story was incredible so it didn’t affect my enjoyment of it.

This is a completely YA story – by that I mean the characters are younger than 20 and there is no sex in the book. But its the kind of beautifully written YA that makes even something as simple and subtle as just a shared glance give you epic butterflies, take your breath away and make your heart just race.

The story was heart breaking, exciting, beautiful, powerful, and thrilling. There were no dull or slow moments. Ever. There was always something new. Something happening. I was drawn completely into every part of the story. And its one that I won’t forget.

“I’m so deep there’s no getting out for me. You own me, you know?”

This book took me on a beautiful journey.

Guys, this is a must-read!!

Buy VAIN (Kindle)
Buy VAIN (Paperback)

♥ CASTING ♥

Ian and Sophie | Ian | Sophie

♥ INTERVIEW with FISHER AMELIE (2012) ♥

Aestas!!! Squeeee! *does a little dance* Thank you for having me!

Q – The name of the series sounds so interesting! What are your plans for the rest of the series?

A – Oh! Thank you! Good question. So each novel in The Seven Deadly Series will focus on a deadly sin but they won’t be continuations of Ian’s and Sophie’s story. They’ll be companion novels featuring a secondary character from the previous novel. So, VAIN was book one, of course. If you’ve had the chance to read VAIN you’ll become familiar with my next lead, Spencer. His book will be called GREED.

As far as the remaining books in the series, you guys know about as much as I do. I’m sort of nibbling on an idea for the third book. I believe it will be LUST but the only thing that’s really set in stone for book three is the lead. He’s beyond yummy.

Q – What are you working on right now?

A – GREED! The impossibly scrumptious Spencer leads this action packed story of avarice, excess and an overwhelming desire for more. Spencer is greedy for many, many things including the tempting and alluring Caroline a.k.a. Cricket.

Q – How long did it take you to write Vain?

A – Too long. LOL! It was a six month turn around. A little long for most authors but I was extremely pregnant from beginning to end…well, almost the end. My son was two weeks old when I typed the last word. My books take me a little longer than I’d like because I’ve got babies under four. Also, I do an absurd amount of research and depending on how well acquainted I am with the scenery, so to speak, determines the writing process. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to kick myself for not picking a setting closer to home.

Q – What was your inspiration for the story?

A – Three years ago, my hubs and I were sitting on the couch like the lazy gits we are, flipping channels and we stumbled across this interview with Sam Childers, the Machine Gun Preacher. Not many know who he is but the impossibly yummy Gerard Butler portrayed him in the film of the same name. The film was…okay. LOL! Anyway, the interview was nothing short of devastating. It exposed Joseph Kony and the Lord’s Resistance Army, their deeds and goals and we both walked away from it a little damaged. Immediately after, we decided to give a little money to the organizations opposed to Kony and it appeased our consciences for a little while but the images of these broken and beaten children would stay in my mind. I knew not a lot of America was aware of who Kony was, not even the infamous “KONY 2012” video really put into words or images of just how terrible Kony is. So, last year we began sponsoring a little boy and his family in a dangerous part of Uganda. His story would forever brand itself onto my heart and soul. He is the reason I will forever fight for Kony’s capture. He is the reason I focus on Uganda. He is the reason I wrote this book.

Q – If Vain were to be made into a movie, do you have a dream cast for any of the characters?

A – You know, I’ve given this a lot of thought. A lot. And I can honestly say that I cannot imagine a single soul in Hollywood as Sophie or Ian. I suspect they’d have to be unknowns in order for me to be satisfied. I’d need someone untainted by stereotypes for both roles.

I can imagine someone like Helen Mirren as Karina and Ian McKellen for Charles. I would love to see some freakishly tall, black haired waif of an actor play Pemmy. I would die if they cast him with any sort of accuracy because my idea of what Pemmy looks like is almost comical.

Q – How often do you write?

A – They aren’t lying when they say you have to write every day. I took a week off after my second son was born and when I finally took up my metaphorical pen, I felt like a toddler at the keyboard. I was fumbling around with words as if they weighed a thousand pounds. In other words, everyday for as often as I can for as long as I can…as long as my kids’ needs are met a.k.a. when they’re asleep. Ba ha ha!

Q – What was the first scene that you wrote from Vain? and the last?

A – The first scene I wrote was the party at Sav’s parents’ house. The last scene I wrote was the scene with the burning baobab tree. You’ll know what scene I mean when you read the book. I was blubbering into my keyboard at three in the morning, sort of p.o.’ed at myself for doing what I did. My hubs woke up and was like, “What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?” I just turned, tears streaming down my face and nodded, sobbing gibberish. He saw I was writing and fell right back to sleep, not another question asked. He’s used to this apparently.

Thank you so much for having me, Aestas! I always love being here! So honored!
– Fisher “BoBisher” Amelie

♥ OFFICIAL BLURB ♥
(I’m including this because it was a big part of what sold me on the book)

If you’re looking for a story about a good, humble girl, who’s been hurt by someone she thought she could trust, only to find out she’s not as vulnerable as she thought she was and discovers an empowering side of herself that falls in love with the guy who helps her find that self, blah, blah, blah…then you’re gonna’ hate my story.

Because mine is not the story you read every time you bend back the cover of the latest trend novel. It’s not the “I can do anything, now that I’ve found you/I’m misunderstood but one day you’ll find me irresistible because of it” tale. Why? Because, if I was being honest with you, I’m a complete witch. There’s nothing redeeming about me. I’m a friend using, drug abusing, sex addict from Los Angeles. I’m every girlfriend’s worst nightmare and every boy’s fantasy.

I’m Sophie Price…And this is the story about how I went from the world’s most envied girl to the girl no one wanted around and why I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Book Review – In The Stillness by Andrea Randall

April 12, 2013 by Aestas · 7 Comments

“I love you so much, Natalie, and when I get home I’m going to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. But don’t, please. Don’t tell me to stop.”

6 HUGE STARS!!!!

So far, I’m calling this the best stand-alone book of the year!

In The Stillness blew me away. A painfully heartbreaking, emotionally charged and beautifully crafted story of love, loss and healing.

YOU ALL SHOULD READ IT!!!!!!

I have to admit, when I first heard about this book, I was a little scared to start. It had a lot of dark and painful themes – namely that the heroine was a cutter. But from the few people I’d talked to who’d read it, all I heard were incredible things.

What convinced me to start though was finding out that it was a second-chance romance (one of my favorite kinds of love stories) and also honestly, just the sheer, raw, emotional reactions people were having to it peaked my curiosity to no end. I just *had* to see what it was all about.

My gosh, was it just mind-blowing. The writing was flawless and just so raw and honest, with perfect pacing and a beautiful flow to it that fully conveyed every emotion the heroine went through.

The book’s blurb really doesn’t tell you what the story is about so I’m going to ‘set up’ the story a bit for you so that you can get a feeling of what it’s all about:

Back in college, Natalie and Ryker fell in love. Truly, madly, take-over-your-life deeply in love. But after 9/11, he was sent off to fight. And when he returned, his body was in tact but what he’d gone through had left him with a severe case of PTSD.

“His body came home, but his soul had been devoured in the firefight of a godless desert.”

Situations escalated and some lines were crossed and they broke up. A decade later, Natalie finds herself in a marriage she never wanted, with kids she never planned on having, straying further and futher away from the life path she always dreamed of. She feels trapped and utterly miserable. Each one of her hopes dreams have come crashing down and every turn in her life has taken her further and further away from happiness until it just pressed in from all sides and became over whelming. And so she cuts.

Cutting for Natalie was a release from the pain of her life. I may not have been able to relate to Natalie on a personal level but I certainly understood her. She was in a dark place. Utterly and completely unhappy with her life, and yet stuck with it. With responsibilities and duties that tied her down in a way that made her feel utterly trapped, and thus fueling her unhappiness. It was a never ending cycle. Or, more like a spiral actually, that pulled her deeper and deeper into the darkness. Cutting was her way of finding control and finding release. It wasn’t right, or healthy, but it was her coping mechanism.

“I feel like a caged animal, rabid with need for freedom that was stolen from me.”

And then one day, out of the blue, she sees Ryker again. I won’t tell you any more, but just know that I loved every single line of this book.

The story is told in told in a mixture of flashbacks and present day story lines. The writing is just so fluid. There are no wasted words, no extra fluff. And despite the fact that it jumped back and forth in time, the segments were arranged in such a way that I was never once unsure of what was going on and the pacing and flow of the story was such that I there were no interruptions in my connection to the characters. You could just feel it in every scene that a great amount of thought, time and research had gone into the creation of this book.

I loved the kind of love that Natalie and Ryker had. Ryker was just it for her. You know? They had the kind of love that just makes you shake. Cry. Laugh. Ache right down to your soul. It was an irreplaceable love. The kind that, once taken away leaves a hole that no other person can ever fill.

“I love you for a reason, Natalie. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

I can’t tell you how strongly I felt their love and their pull towards each other. It wasn’t because of epic swoon or anything. Their lives were just an imperfect mess of wrong turns and yet STILL the sheer strength of their pull towards each other was just overpowering. Natalie’s best friend summed it up perfectly:

“You two had something special — it’s the circumstances that were shitty.”

I felt like I was on a constant emotional overflow. For the final half of the book I read alternating between crying and having a lump in my throat. My eyes were never dry and often tears were just pouring down my face. It was just one emotional hit after another. There were times when I had to stop reading for a minute or two, simply because I couldn’t see the words any longer through my tears.

“I love you so much, Natalie, and when I get home I’m going to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. But don’t, please. Don’t tell me to stop.”

Everything about this book was realistic, raw, and never hid the truth from you. I honestly can say that I do not have a single complaint about this book. Do I wish I could take away the pain of their lives? Sure. But would I change a single word of this book? No.

Something which was very important to me in this story and that I admired in Natalie was that despite all the pain, depression, and misery she was feeling in the inside, she never once let that seep into her relationship with her kids. She may not have wanted to be a mother, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a good one. She was kind, sweet, patient and loving to them. Always. For some reason, I wasn’t expecting that of her going into the story, and I was pleasantly surprised at that side of her. To me, what that proved more than anything was that she wasn’t truly messed up, she was just dealing with an overwhelming amount of sadness and needed an outlet. But the fact that she kept her outlet contained to herself spoke volumes about her as a person. At least in my eyes.

I honestly could not put this book down. Not even for a second. It was the kind of story that sucks you right in and makes you want more. The story was constantly moving forward, with no slow spots. It build in layers giving you more and more pieces of the story until everything made sense and everything came together.

Everything about this book broke my heart. But in a good way, you know? I just had to believe that out of the horrible mess of their lives, there was some room, some hope for a happy ending.

And it did have a happy ending. You really got the feeling that they had gotten to a good point in their lives where from that point forward, they’d be able to rebuild and heal together.

I will say though that despite my giving it a 6-star rating, I would just LOVE if the author would write an epilogue one day. Not like a whole chapter, and not even more of the story at that point, but I would have loved a glimpse into their lives maybe a few months, or even a few years down the road. I mean, I know in my head how it would have all played out, but it’s something I would have loved to read in her words.

That being said, the book was just PHENOMENAL. Seriously. One of the best I’ve ever read. I adored it with all my heart and it’s earned itself a special place in both my heart and on my favorites shelf.

I feel it’s the kind of story that regardless of whether or not you can relate to it, there is just no way that you won’t feel it deep down to the very bottom of your heart.

I highly, highly recommend it!!

Powerful. Painful. Raw. Emotional. Beautiful.

6 stars.

PURCHASE LINKS

Review & Bonus Scene – Own The Wind (Chaos #1) by Kristen Ashley

April 2, 2013 by Aestas · 26 Comments

5+++ stars

I ABSOLUTELY FREAKING LOVED THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!

No word of a lie: I have quotes highlighted on nearly EVERY page!!

Kristen Ashley is one of those incredibly talented authors who has my complete and utter trust. I don’t need to read the synopsis or blurbs for her books, I don’t need to see reviews or ratings… Quite simply, if she wrote it, I’ll read it.

And true to KA style, this book ROCKED. MY. WORLD.

First, I just want to say that although technically this book can be read as a standalone, if you haven’t yet read the Dream Man series, you are going to miss out on a good chunk of the emotional impact of it. And to clarify: you’ll definitely feel the romance between Shy and Tabby for sure either way, but in order to get the full EPICNESS that this book has to offer (and trust me, there’s bucket-loads of epic!), you really have to read them after the Dream Man books. There are cameos from Tack, Tyra, Hawk, Elvira, Brock and Mitch, as well as Lee Nightingale, Tex and Fortums (from Rock Chick) so if those names don’t mean anything to you, their scenes won’t send you into the same squee-ing frenzy that they sent me into. So yeah, I suggest reading the Dream Man books first (click here for the full reading order).

Now that that’s said, on to the review 🙂

Parker “Shy” Cage has a bit of a reputation. One involving copious piles of women. Ok, hang on, let’s just take a collective moment to SWOON over his name. I’m in love with it. I’m in love with him. *dreamy sigh*… Ok, moving on. Yeah, let’s just say he’s gotten around. A lot 😉 And to say that he and Tabby got off to a rocky start would be the understatement of the year.

As the daughter of the leader of the biker gang Chaos that Shy was a brother in, Tabby was off-limits to begin with. But when he sees her going down a path he thinks is bad for her, he decides to try and teach her a lesson. His intentions were good, but his delivery… not so much. His point goes through but he went too far and the hurt ran deep. And for the next few years, she can barely stand the sight of him.

But when a tragedy shatters Tabby’s world, Shy is there to help her put back the pieces and learn to be happy again. (And stop freaking out guys, Tack does NOT die!! Breathe. It’s okay!)

“You need a safe place to just forget shit and escape, I’ll give it to you. Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. That safe place is me, Tabby.”

I totally loved both Shy and Tabby. Once they got past the initial misunderstandings and miss-communications and officially became a couple, my gosh were they ever functional!!! They were crazy in love and both valued what they had more than anything else in the world. It was precious to them and they weren’t about to let anything get in their way or come between them. They knew where their priorities lay and it was their relationship first. Above all else. I just absolutely freaking ADORED them as a couple!!

“Promise me right now, my dick still inside you, you naked on top of me in my bed, sharing what we just shared, us having a taste of what it’s like apart and knowin’ were better together, you won’t leave me…. You’ll stick with me until there’s nothing to stick to, if that ever happens.”

And as individual characters, they were both also amazing. Tabby was just incredible. She spoke her mind, stood up for herself and didn’t take shit from anyone (and considering that she was always surrounded by these badass biker dudes, that was quite a feat).

And Shy just stole my heart because despite royally fucking up in the beginning, he was the kind of guy who could own up to it, apologize, and move on. He was Alpha, protected and defended his woman, but at the same time wasn’t overbearing and loved her for who she was – the good and the bad.

I loved that despite the way the older bikers ran things, Shy, I guess being younger (27) and maybe more open to change was a biker through and through but at the same time, didn’t put up with a lot of the older ways of dealing with relationships. He had a lot of respect for Tabby in her own right and didn’t let anyone get in her way.

“Shy, she’s yours… Control your woman,” High demanded. “Get her ass out.”

My eyes went to Shy to see him looking at High, and he wasn’t looking pissed.

He was looking reflective.

Then he said, “Tab and I don’t play it that way. You wanna order your old lady around, do what you do, not for me to say. I asked her to go, she didn’t go. Not gonna make her. But you try, you’ll deal with me.”

This book was tight. The story flowed, it was engaging, something new was always happening and there were no dull moments. The imagery was vivid – I honestly feel like I saw the whole book play out in front of my eyes like a movie.

This story had a bit of everything. There were moments that warmed my heart right down to my toes, moments that had me fanning myself and moments that socked me in the gut so hard it took me breath away.

I really felt like the message that came through to me from this book was that the shit life sometimes puts you through can cut deep, right into your soul. But sometimes, if you push through it, you can find beauty you’d never have otherwise found.

I swear to God, KA’s writing has just SO much depth to it. She’s very much got her own style and let me tell you: that woman can WRITE. Brilliant dialogue. Scenes that make your heart squeeze and race. Scenes that make you sigh dreamily and just feel like you are right freaking THERE.

And seriously, this book has one of the most epic verbal smackdowns I have ever read. I was cheering and squeeing. It had some of the best lines from any KA book I’ve ever read (and I’ve nearly read them all). I swear I highlighted almost that whole chapter!!

And boy was this book HOT! When the main couple have a connection as strong as Shy and Tabby had, you can’t help but feel it. Again, EPIC.

“I knew this day would turn shit,” I whispered. “I knew with how great it started, there’d be farther to fall.”

His eyes flashed, his hand moved up to cup my jaw, he tilted my head way back, and brought his face to mine.

“May feel like you’re fallin’, Tabby, but remember, I’m at the bottom ready to catch you.”

It took all my will power not to just post updates every 2 minutes screaming “I FREAKING LOVE THIS BOOK!!!”

My only tiny complaint was that the epilogue was shorter than most and I do love me a big long gushy epilogue, but still… the book rocked!

Aaand also, on a bit more of a random note…. what’s better than a hot-as-fuck badass biker?? Well that would be a hot-as-fuck bad ass biker with a smokin’ hot soldier brother. I totally crushed on Shy’s brother, Landon, and really hope he gets his own book one day 🙂

The next installment in this series is well set up and I absolutely can’t wait for MORE!!!!

*squeeeeee*

Ok, wondering which Kristen Ashley book to start with?

READING ORDER for ALL series by KRISTEN ASHLEY

PURCHASE LINKS

OWN THE WIND (Kindle)
OWN THE WIND (Paperback)

Ok, so for my Blog Tour stop,
Kristen Ashley WROTE ME INTO A FREAKING BONUS SCENE!!!
With a hot biker dude!!!!
I swear I almost died when I read it.
Coolest. Thing. EVER.
Naturally, I just have to share it with you, so… here it is 😉

**SQUEEEEEEEEEE**
(ok, I’m done. Read on!)

Aestas felt a tickle along the back of her neck, she stopped perusing the boxes on the shelf and looked left.

A rough-looking man with messy dark hair, wearing faded jeans and black leather jacket, was staring at her behind.

He must have felt her eyes because his lifted to catch her gaze. She held her breath when she saw his face, but mostly his small smile. Then he turned and walked away.

That was when she gasped.

On the back of his leather jacket was the Chaos Emblem.

The Chaos Emblem!

Whoever he was, he was Chaos.

She put her hands to her cart, double-timing it to follow him. Searching aisle for aisle in that grocery store, he was nowhere to be found.

Dejected, she finished her shopping and headed to the checkout counter.

As she was waiting in line, dreaming all things Chaos, she felt the tickle at the back of her neck again. She turned her head and there he was, all broad-shouldered, six foot-one of him. Standing behind her in line, carrying a six-pack of beer in one hand, a bottle of bourbon in the other.

“Yo,” his deep voice grunted.

“Are you Chaos?” Aestas peeped.

That got her another grin and a nod.

She struggled for breath and informed him, “I know you.”

“Lotsa bitches do,” he replied, still grinning.

“Uh… I mean, I know Chaos, but not sure I know you. Which one are you?” she asked.

“Hound,” he answered.

Oh. Wow. Hound.

In truth, she would have preferred Tack. Or Shy. Or Hop.

But she’d take Hound, especially seeing as he was pretty freaking hot. As in pretty danged freaking hot.

“You’re hot,” she blurted.

That got her a full-blown smile.

“Feelin’ the love for Kit, she hasn’t spread that around… yet” Hound said. “Tack, Shy, Hop, they’re screwed. Women the world over wanna be all in their business. You get what I’m sayin’?”

Aestas nodded. She got what he was sayin’.

“So, uh, being a woman around the world that knows Chaos and Kristen Ashley, I’ve got a blog. Can you give me a scoop?”

He shook his head, but he looked like he regretted doing it. “Kit gets kinda pissy when we do that shit.”

Aestas’ brows went up. She tilted her head and gave him an encouraging smile. “Nothing? Not even a little something for my readers?”

He took in her head tilt then his eyes dropped to her mouth.

She again quit breathing.

“All right,” he sighed. “Just that the guys dig it that you bitches are so into us. We think it’s a hoot.”

Well, at least that was good.

“If memory serves, you, particularly, are a little crazy,” Aestas noted.

“Babe, I’m in a motorcycle club. Some kind of crazy is a requirement,” Hound replied.

That was probably the truth.

“Do you have a woman?” Aestas asked.

“Not yet, but you talk to her, you tell Kit to get on that. Man like me… he needs it regular. You get me?”

She nodded. She got him. But she was stuck on him getting it regular and how that might be a fun thing to give.

His eyes went beyond her to the line. “You’re up, babe.”

Aestas jumped and moved forward in line, threw her stuff on the belt and turned back to Hound.

When she did, he was gone.

She craned her neck to look for, him but he was nowhere to be seen.

She paid and took her groceries out to her car, thinking maybe she was going a bit nuts. Seriously, she’d just had a conversation with a fictional character in a grocery store.

On this thought, her groceries stowed away, she heard the low growl of a Harley.

Whirling, she saw Hound stop his bike and put a motorcycle boot to the asphalt.

“Can’t give you a scoop,” he yelled over the rumble of the bike. “Can give you a ride. You wanna hop on?”

Aestas had ice cream in her groceries.

She didn’t care.

She hopped on.

She would have liked a scoop.

But wrapped around Hound on his Harley, her chin set to the leather of his cut, the wind in her hair, she didn’t mind the ride.

Book Review – Light In The Shadows (Find You In The Dark #2) by A. Meredith Walters

March 26, 2013 by Aestas · 145 Comments

“God I loved her… She was everything I wanted in my life but was still unsure I deserved… I wanted this. And I wanted to run from it. I wanted to pull her in and never let go. I wanted to push her away… I wanted to taste her skin and feel her heart beat beneath my lips.”

5 STARS!!!! Spoiler-free review.

PHENOMENAL!

I was in love with this story from the first word, until the very last.

“For those searching for the light… Never stop.”

I can’t even tell you how much I needed this book after finishing book #1 Find You in The Dark. FYITD was one of the absolute best books I’ve ever read and I felt so connected to the characters and drawn into the story that, honestly, my world was just not complete until I was able to read this book.

This book kept me up till 5AM. I just had to read it in one sitting, there was no way I was putting this book down!

The story was a direct continuation of book #1. It focuses a lot on healing, on recovery, on finding a healthy balance to life… on finding the light in the shadows ♥ (sniff… I’m getting teary here)

I want to take a minute and talk about Clay. I loved how well the author described him. Because despite having a mental condition, he was downright swoony. Everything about him was just pure, gorgeous, normal, rational, hot guy swoon material, he just also had an illness.

With the way the author described his POV, I felt like I got right inside his head. She wrote him in such a way that I couldn’t help but sympathize with everything he went though. I experienced his mood swings with him. I was right there with him every step of the way. He had good days and bad days, days of coming to terms with things, days of gut wrenching pain and days of elation. I felt his highs, I felt his lows, I was totally connected to everything he went through.

“Just when I thought I had things under control, the reality of who I was smacked me squarely in the face. Being nuts was no fun let me tell you… my kind of nuts was scary and consuming… I was a far cry from being the man I wanted to be. But I was getting there.”

I think also that the fact that he had this condition made how much he loved Maggie so much stronger. Because he truly did – with every fiber of his being. And the fact that that love he felt was strong enough to make him push through everything was heart warming, inspiring and just downright beautiful.

“For a guy who struggled with finding his place in the world, standing next to Maggie, I understood one thing on a very fundamental level. Wherever she went, whatever she did, that is where I belonged.”

Maggie was such a strong heroine. She had her moments of weakness, but the depth of her love for Clay was enough to get her through anything. I loved watching them work together to make things work.

“My love for this beautifully broken, yet slowly healing boy, made me strong…. My soul belonged with him, was so entangled in him that I was no longer a single being.”

Clay and Maggie’s connection had always been intense to an extreme. Everything about them was heightened. And as a reader, I felt it SO strongly. Regardless of if they were even in the same scene together, sometimes just their feelings for each other would hit me so strongly (in a thought, memory, or note) and I’d just start to tear up.

The struggle they went though broke my heart. But I loved how strong they both were. I honestly have to say that despite the struggle of what they went through, they were really one of the most functional relationships I’ve read. To go through what they went through and to be able to come out of it strong and together was downright admirable.

They were both trying with all their heart, fighting the odds, and proving that love could truly conquer all.

“It was just two people who loved each other, trying to make some sense in a world where there was none.”

It was a rough, bumpy road. It was raw. Imperfect. Messy. But my dear God did I love this journey and this story.

It was no fairy tale, but it was true love that you felt with your whole heart.

I cried my way through the epilogue and when I finished the book, I literally just sat there with tears pouring down my face for several minutes… just over flowing with emotions ♥♥

Yes, there is a happy ending. It was believable, real, and absolutely perfect for them. The author truly did these beautiful characters justice.

Guys, this book duet is just incredible. I highly recommend them if you are in the mood for a beautiful, emotional, and unconventional love story.

Clay and Maggie’s story will remain in my heart forever ♥